Last night had been a bit more of a high-stakes moment. The evening had unfolded with perfect ease. A combination of everything she needed. His kiss, his measured ability to keep things from escalating too far. Respecting her wishes and boundaries.
He’d been great with her kids. Especially Colby. He seemed to understand how to engage with him. Max was different than a lot of her friends in town, who, at first, tried to smother Colby with well-meaning affection. It had taken her closest friends some time to understand physical touch had to be dictated by Colby. But Max fell into a pattern with Colby. For that she was grateful.
He’d even shared more about his life last night, become more real by the hour. Her mind again returned to the kiss at the end of the night.
She’d wanted to go further...but there was still an awkwardness she couldn’t get past.
Giving Miss Molly a hand and spoken command—let’s go—Margie started a brisk walk toward the gate, Natalie walking alongside. They would walk the yard, and the perimeter, the children always in sight, while still working the training.
Margie made Miss Molly wait at the gate, then proceed forward on comman
d. A few steps later, the trainer glanced at Natalie. “Honey, what’s wrong?”
“I’m fine, really,” Natalie said quickly. Too eager. The words betrayed her.
“You’re actually a really a bad liar.” Margie’s eyebrows shot heavenward.
“Look around you. My life is complicated. I’m exhausted and sad and overworked. That’s all.” Natalie walked toward the cars. The dog seemed to be getting the message that when she wore her vest during an outing, she wasn’t allowed to sniff. This had proven to be the hardest part of working with Miss Molly, but they were making progress.
“You’ve been that before and something’s different. I want to help if I can. If you want me to. Does it have something to do with that hot, young boarder of yours?” Margie walked alongside Miss Molly, her eyes on the dog’s movements but she was still concentrating on the conversation. “If he’s messing with your heart, there are people in this town who will knock him down a peg or two.”
“He’s not playing with my heart at all. He’s been completely forthright. I’ve been upfront with him, as well...”
“Then...?”
“It’s too embarrassing to say.” Natalie lowered her voice, eying her neighbors pushing their toddler on a swing hanging from a fat oak branch. Her heart squeezed with the beauty of all that promise.
Margie ducked her head conspirator-style. “Then I’m guessing it’s about sex?”
And there it was. She’d slept with Max. He’d made sure she was satisfied. She wanted to go to bed with him again—needed a passionate affair. Her body was on fire every time he came near. Still... “How crazy is that? I’ve been married, but...” She shook her head. “It’s kind of embarrassing.”
“Can you talk to your mother?”
“Heavens, no.” Natalie shuddered at the thought. What a way to make things more embarrassing. At best she would get either a lecture or encouragement to pursue Max because of his wealth.
“Well, honey, you clearly need to speak with someone. We girls have to stick together and talk. Too much is kept secret out of embarrassment, and that makes me sad.”
Natalie lengthened her stride to keep up, each breath shaking free thoughts through her mind like the rustling trees shedding leaves. “I want to be with him, I want an affair. I need an affair, something just for me.”
“What’s stopping you?”
“My husband was my first, my only, and, um, there’s a size difference. Max was patient...and wonderful, but still, things were uncomfortable.”
“Oh, my. That puts a damper on a moment, doesn’t it? Could also be your extended period of abstinence making the situation even more complicated?”
“I considered that.”
“These things happen. Happened to me when I went through menopause and my body went into seventy kinds of crazy changes. I learned from my sister that it can happen to cancer patients after treatments or surgery.”
“That’s so sad. How did I not know that?”
“We women need to talk more. It’s silly to be embarrassed about our bodies and finding what feels good.”
No one had ever been so candid with her. Not even her friends in college had talked about these matters so openly. A blush heated her skin. She couldn’t control it, and it deepened into what felt like a bad sunburn.
“See, why are you blushing? Your man was gone a lot. My Terence was a traveling salesman. The week on the road could be long. I invested in some toys and the separation was less stressful.”
“I really can’t believe we’re having this conversation.”