“It is important. It was from Becky Nash.”
Ten
Tom’s hand stilled. “Why did she call us? Is the little girl all right?” he asked.
“Yes, she’s fine. Her mother called because they are driving through Texas and asked if we would like to meet Polly. They are going to stop by here next Tuesday afternoon.”
He looked away, his jaws clamped shut while he was silent. Finally he faced her again. “That is a big deal. We’re going to meet the little girl who has our son’s heart.”
Silence stretched between them again, and Emily had a sinking feeling that a lot of their old problems were about to return, ending the fragile friendly truce.
“Would you rather I had told them not to come?”
He flinched and shook his head. “No. You did the right thing. We should meet her. I just keep thinking that part of Ryan is still a living organ, that there’s part of him still here.”
“And keeping another child alive. Tom, Ryan has given life to this little girl.”
Tom wiped his eyes. “I know that. And that’s what we wanted and it’s good, but it doesn’t make our loss lighter or lessen the hurt of losing Ryan one damn degree. It brings the loss all back in a way. We should meet her, but that doesn’t make it easy.” He turned his back to her and she knew he wiped his eyes again.
And she knew she couldn’t comfort him and he didn’t want her to try. He had turned his back on her and was shutting her out of his life.
She hurt more than ever and suspected the last little vestige of her marriage was shattering.
In spite of their time together, the quiet hours spent on Uncle Woody’s porch just talking about each other’s plans, Emily could tell that this reminder of their loss had thrown them back to the way it used to be. To when they had been estranged and avoided each other.
She knew he didn’t want her there, so she walked quietly out of the guesthouse and crossed back to the main house, barely able to see
for her tears.
It was definitely over between them. She could tell when Tom turned his back on her that had been a final goodbye.
She had been wrapped in a false sense of happiness when he had lived in the old house with her and helped her get it back in shape. That was over and all the hurt over the bus wreck and loss of their son had returned. And it would always come back. There would be reminders through life and she and Tom needed to let go and try to rebuild their lives.
She loved Tom and she couldn’t imagine ever loving anyone else, but her marriage to him was over. She suspected she would not see him again until the Nashes arrived on Tuesday.
She cried as she walked back to the mansion. But she felt she had known all along the day would come when they would go back to avoiding each other and Tom would sign the divorce papers.
She decided that she would pack and choose what she wanted to have moved to her house in Royal so she could go as soon as the Nashes left.
She entered the empty, silent house, wanting to be back in town and away from so many painful memories here.
She thought of the fun times she and Tom had had over the past days. The evenings they’d spent on the porch, just talking. They had found joy in each other again and she was beginning to have hope. Tom was the most wonderful man she had ever known and she had fallen in love with him all over again. And now she was hurting all over again.
She didn’t feel like having dinner and Tom didn’t show, so she put the casserole back in the refrigerator and went out to the sprawling patio to sit where she could look at the spring flowers in the yard and the big blue swimming pool with its sparkling fountain. It was a cool March evening and she would rather sit outside.
She would borrow one of the ranch trucks to take some furniture back with her. Tom wouldn’t care what she took or what she left. She doubted whether he would ever live in the main house again, and she didn’t want to.
She put her head in her hands to cry. She had lost them both—Ryan and Tom.
She cried quietly as she sat there in the dusky evening, looking at the fountain and feeling numb. She gazed beyond the pool. Silence enveloped her. Occasionally she could hear the wind, a soft sound, the only sound. As if the entire world was at peace. She knew better. It wasn’t, and neither was her little corner of it. But the illusion was nice.
“Did you eat dinner?”
She heard Tom’s deep voice from the doorway and turned around. He stood in the door with his hands on his hips.
“No. Do you want any?”
“No. I’ll stay at the guesthouse tonight.”