Cam pushed both hands through his hair, then let them fall. It was more than regret in his eyes now. There was surprise, as well. And anger. “How can you think I cheated on you?”
Wide eyed, she stared at him. “How can I not? You married Julie. She was pregnant. What else am I supposed to think?”
His features were grim as he watched her, and Beth would have given anything to know what he was thinking. Were his thoughts racing, trying to find a way out of this? Trying to somehow make having a child with another woman a happy thing? That thought prompted her next question.
“And while we’re on the subject,” she added, lifting her chin and locking her gaze with his. “Where is your child? Should be almost fifteen, right? Boy or girl?”
The muscle in Cam’s jaw twitched as if he were chewing over what he wanted to say. Finally he simply said, “Julie lost the baby when she was five months pregnant.”
That stopped her for a moment. He’d cheated on her. Beth remembered the never ending wave of pain at being so completely discarded that the echoes of it could make her chest hurt. But she wouldn’t have wished his child gone. “I’m sorry, Cam.”
His gaze flicked to hers, and his eyes went cool and distant in a second.
“I’m not talking about this with you,” he muttered. “Not now.”
She laughed and the sound scraped across her throat. “Not then and not now. Perfect. That’s great. You didn’t tell me you were leaving and now that you’re back, you won’t tell me why any of it happened. Fantastic.”
Beth grabbed her purse and slung the slender gold chain strap over her shoulder. “Enjoy the TCC membership, Camden.”
When she stalked past him, he reached for her, but she pulled her arm away before he could grab hold. “No. You don’t get to do that. Touch me as if we still have something between us.”
“There will always be something between us, Beth.” His voice was so low she could hardly hear it. And maybe that was just as well. She was trembling, hurting and so furious at her own gullibility that she could hardly see.
“No, Camden. That ended a long time ago. When you betrayed me.”
“Oh, no,” he countered. “I’m willing to stand here and take everything else you said to me because I figure you’ve got a right. But you don’t get to say I betrayed you.”
Beth nodded jerkily. “Right. I forgot. You’re the injured party here.”
He didn’t rise to that bait. Instead, he said simply, “You tore my heart out.”
She pushed her hair back. “And you stomped on mine. Do we call it a tie?”
“We call it over.” His eyes never left hers. His features were tight and his voice a deep whisper when he said, “It’s done, Beth. Fifteen years done.”
Her breaths were short and fast. Her heart was beating ferociously, and she told herself to get a grip. How could he stand there so calmly? She felt as if she were going to explode, but she couldn’t as long as he was being so damn reasonable.
She wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of seeing just how he could still affect her. Stiffly she nodded, though it cost her. How could she look into his eyes and want him so much it made her ache—in spite of their past?
Was he right about calling the past done and over? Could she leave it where it belonged and move forward? How could she if she couldn’t trust him?
“And what are you suggesting?” she asked, suddenly tired and sure that her wildly swinging emotions were to blame for that. “We start over?”
He sighed, tipped his head back and stared at the ceiling for a slow count of three. Then he looked at her again. “We’re not starting anything up, right? We’re just going to learn to deal with living near each other again. That was the deal.”
“Yeah, we’re full of deals,” Beth murmured darkly. She hated it, but he was right. They weren’t starting anything. They weren’t a couple any more than she and Justin were. And a part of her ached with that knowledge. “Fine. We go from here. Not friends. Not lovers. Just...what, exactly?”
“Hell if I know.”
She laughed again and this time it was a little less painful. “That, at least, is honest.”
“I didn’t lie to you.”
Beth held up one hand. “I don’t want to talk about it.” Taking a breath, she reached for something—anything to get them off the subject of their past. “You wanted to show me what you had in mind for your guest cottages, right?”
“Yeah,” he said, keeping a wary eye on her as if half-waiting for her to explode again. “The plans are in the dining room.”
“Great.” Better than great. This gave her something to do. Something to think about besides a pregnant Julie and a cheating Cam. She followed him across the foyer to the formal dining room.