“Follow me.” His voice is so distant and faraway. Like he is talking to me from the other side of the country. I hate it. I nod faintly and move in his direction, and he leads me to Headmaster Charles’ office.
“Am I in trouble?” I ask behind his back as we walk past students, cheerleaders, and the commotion of lunch hour.
“Not at all.” He takes a sharp right, exactly like I knew he would, and we’re standing outside Headmaster Charles’ office.
“What is going on?” My heart rate escalates, and I wonder if it can spontaneously burst from everything that’s happening here. Has he told Headmaster Charles about us? Does he want me back? What is happening here?
“I’ve noticed that you haven’t fill out any applications to colleges yet.” He strangles the handle of the door leading to the office.
I shake away my disbelief and try to calm down. “Yeah. No. I didn’t have time.”
Riverside makes you log your history of applications and acceptance letters to their online system so they can send potential colleges all the necessary documents and reference letters. My file was blank, as I didn’t have time or the right mindset to actually make any academic plans.
“Well, I took it upon myself to set you up with a few options.” He knocks on the door softly, then opens it, and behind Headmaster Charles’ desk is a woman I don’t know. She is young, maybe mid-twenties, and she is wearing a suit and a sweet smile, her blonde hair in a tight bun.
“Hello there, Remington. I’m Holly Tate.” She reaches with her arm for a handshake, but I don’t make a move. “I’m an external adviser. My job is to find students their best fits for college. Mr. James spoke very highly of you. I can’t make any promises, but I can try to give you a few shortcuts to your colleges of interest once we look at your grades and electives.”
I want to laugh and cry at the same time. He wants to look after me and secure my future after I threatened him and kicked him out of my house. Jesus. Only Pierce James would do something like this.
But I don’t want his generosity. I don’t want his help. I want to forget we’ve ever happened and move on.
“No, thank you,” I hear myself say. Holly’s smile melts on her face, and it gives me a little solace. “But I appreciate the offer.”
I turn around and walk away. I hope he will follow me, but when he doesn’t, I’m not surprised.
Everything is changing. We are changing. The only thing that’s not changing is my family life. No. That stays put. Like a bad habit you can’t seem to shake.
Dad is on the road again, with nothing but a quick text telling me that we’d work it out when he got back.
Ryan is back to disappearing and standing me up when he needs to be picking me up from school, sporadically giving me lunch and school money.
And the reality of my destiny is clear as the sky from Piece’s boathouse on Lake Mead.
There’s nothing to see here.
All the interesting, beautiful things are happening to other people.
Gwen always used to say that hope is a contagious disease. If you’re not careful, you can catch it. I used to laugh it off at the time. I didn’t have hope because I didn’t need it. I had her. I had friends. I had a glowing future ahead of me. I saw the world through rose-colored glasses. I thought I had it all.
Today, I have nothing.
I don’t have any friends. I mean, I do. Of course, I do. But not real ones. I’ve pushed them all away.
I don’t have a glowing future ahead of me. I have a mediocre job I hold onto because I don’t want to leave this place.
I don’t have Gwen.
And I don’t have Remi.
That leaves me with spare time on my hands, so today I decide to do something productive with my life. I log on to my Amazon account and order what I wanted to order for her the day she showed up on my doorstep, soaking wet, telling me it was her birthday. Then, I drive to the nearest Safeway and buy Shelly her usual groceries fit for a kindergartener.
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I’m trying to keep my world moving for no reason other than Remington Stringer. It occurs to me, as I walk down the aisles of the too-bright supermarket, that I have nothing to lose or to gain outside the game of winning her back.
After I’m done paying for everything, I drive over to Shelly’s place. I know she’ll be there, because unless she’s scoring, she’s at home. And last time I saw her, she was dope sick. Which means she hadn’t used in a while. Hopefully, she was able to keep that up.
If she is home, no issues.