“I’m scared,” I admit, feeling stupid and vulnerable for saying the words out loud.
“I need you, Allie. I’m not fucking leaving you again. I’m starting school here. I took a job at Henry’s auto shop. I walked away from fighting.” He runs a hand through his hair, blowing out a breath. “Nothing mattered to me before you. I self-sabotaged every good thing in my life before you came along. Part of me thinks I got kicked off the team on purpose, because it was easier to play that role, as fucked up as that sounds. But you make me want to be someone who deserves someone like you.”
He wipes a tear from my cheek.
“I love you.”
His eyes flare, zeroing in on my lips. “Say it again.”
“I fucking love you.” I feel my lips pull into a smile, and then he’s standing from the stool and lifting me in his arms, my ankles crossing behind his back.
“I love you, too.”
Legs still wrapped around his waist, I pull my shirt off over my head. “Then show me.”
* * *
Six months later
MY DAD ALWAYS SAID THAT both the best and worst things in life are unexpected. They’re the moments that change your life indefinitely, and even if you see them coming, you’re never prepared for the impact. It’s what you do in the aftermath that matters. It’s how you deal with the crisis—or good fortune—that defines you.
Closing my journal, I look up, seeking Jesse out as I sit on the same bleachers I watched him from a few years ago. Only this time, I’m not hiding underneath them. Since lacrosse is new at Kerrigan and there’s little funding, they’ve been using the high school’s field for practice and fall ball. It has me feeling more than a little sentimental being here, where my dad used to teach, with the boy who healed my broken heart.
The last six months have been a whirlwind. Technically, we don’t live together, but he sleeps in my bed every single night, so I don’t know who we think we’re fooling. He works with Henry now, and though it’s been a slow process, I can see the change in Jesse. He’s healing, too, and being around Henry has a lot to do with it.
Crystal showed up in River’s Edge in a desperate attempt to reel Jess back in. She started spitting some bullshit about him being worthless, and I didn’t think. I just swung. I’ve never punched anyone in my life, but she was talking about the boy I love, threatening to undo everything we’ve worked for. I don’t know who was more shocked. I turned, wide-eyed, to Lo and Jess with my hand over my mouth, apologizing profusely. To my surprise, Lo laughed like a hyena. Jess sent Crystal packing before telling me I couldn’t just go around punching people whenever they pissed me off—repeating the same words I told him about Victor—but he couldn’t keep the smile from his face when he said it.
As for my mom, she moved back to California with her new husband. I’ve got a little brother coming any day now, and she said she wanted to be close enough to see me on a regular basis. I’m cautiously optimistic.
A whistle blows, pulling me from my thoughts. Jesse jogs toward me, pulling his lacrosse helmet off before pushing his damp hair off his forehead.
“Hey, Allie Girl,” he says, leaning down for a kiss.
“Gross, you’re all sweaty!”
“You like it.” He moves in, rubbing his face all over me, kissing my collarbone, and I laugh, pushing him away.
“Get a room!” Sully shouts, pulling his helmet up. He joined the lacrosse team, too. Don’t ask me what’s going on with Halston and him. They don’t even know.
Jesse throws up a middle finger behind him, bringing his lips to mine. I wrap my arms around his neck, slipping my tongue into his mouth, uncaring of our audience.
He pulls away, eyes shining with lust. “Get in the truck.”
“I’ll meet you there,” I say, pointing to my journal. He nods before jogging over to grab his stuff, and I open my journal once more.
Dad was right. The best things in life are always unexpected, and loving Jesse Shepherd is definitely the best thing in life.
Nothing gold can stay.
Nothing perfect and beautiful can last forever.
Nothing except Allison Parrish.
* * *
First and foremost, to the readers, whether you’re just discovering me or have been there since the beginning, thank you. I’m so grateful that you’ve taken a chance on me.
To my husband, who probably wished he could divorce me while I spent hours upon hours writing, thank you for being the fun parent and the most understanding, supportive person on the planet.