“Who isn’t? It’s okay.”
“How is that okay? I don’t even know who I am anymore. I look in the mirror and don’t see myself anymore.”
“Everyone breaks sometimes. It’s a part of life. Sometimes we have to fall apart before we can fall back together. I couldn’t look in mirrors for a long time. I couldn’t face my demons because they were reminders of my mistakes and mishaps. But Emery walked me through them. I didn’t have to get through it on my own. So, please . . . let me walk with you. We’re all just trying to breathe, Sammie. It doesn’t make you weak to reach out for help. That’s actually what makes you strong. So, what do you say? How about we breathe together?”
That night, when I got home, I opened my email to find a letter from an insider whose name seemed very familiar to me.
The title of the email read: “Just In Case You Need This.”
Hey Oliver,
I’m not sure if you remember me, but we met at the farmer’s market. I was the asshole following you and taking your picture. Well, I was also the asshole who saw you when you were having a conversation with Cam at the outdoor diner, and I was able to record it. The clip is attached above, and I wanted to let you know that I can pass it on to media outlets. It might help clear your name.
I know you might be against this, or not trust me, but again, a lot of us are your supporters. I won’t share it, unless you ask me to do so. I don’t want to cause you any more struggles.
—Charlie Parks
I sat back a bit, completely baffled by the email sitting in my inbox. My mind raced back and forth as I tried to figure out the best thing that I could do with the information he’d given me. I didn’t care about clearing my name as much as I cared about making life easier for Emery, and maybe having a chance to have her come back to me.
So, I hit reply.
Dear Charlie,
Please send the video out.
—OS
38
EMERY
“I miss Mr. Mith,” Reese stated for the fifty millionth time in the past two weeks. Every time she said it, I felt like an awful mother. I’d brought Oliver into her life, only to have him ripped away from her days after she was questioning if he was going to be her father. I hated the guilt that was building up inside of me every single day, yet what I hated most was how much I missed him too.
I missed him to my core. At night, he’d show up in my dreams, and come morning he’d live in my thoughts. Even though I knew I was making the right choice for my daughter, it didn’t make things any easier. I wished I could’ve figured out a way to make our love work. I wished I could’ve been able to keep him by my side during my hardest days, but I didn’t see any way that it was possible.
“I know, baby, I miss him too.” I sighed, rubbing my hands against my eyes. I hadn’t cried in a few days, so I took that as a win. I knew I had to stop my tears from coming when Reese began asking me why I was sad. Hiding my sadness from my little girl was probably the hardest thing for me to do. Appearing strong when I felt weak was harder than anyone could’ve ever believed.
There was a knock at my door, and I hurried over to answer it. Kelly was standing there with two bottles in her hand. One was red wine, and the other was sparkling grape juice.
I cocked an eyebrow. “What are you doing here?”
“It’s good to see you too,” she joked, barging into the apartment without an official invitation inside; not that she needed one. “I figured tonight was a great night for a girls’ night out!” she exclaimed. “Reese! Do you want to have a girls’ night out?”
“Yes!” my daughter shouted, making me shake my head.
“No,” I said back. I didn’t have the energy to get up and go out. Most days, I was just trying to make it from morning to night. I didn’t have an ounce of extra energy to put anywhere else but within my daughter.
“Oh, gosh. Don’t be a party pooper, Emery,” Kelly said.
“Yeah, don’t be a party pooper, Mama,” Reese echoed. I gave her a stern look, and her eyes widened as she whispered, “Is ‘pooper’ a bad word?”
I couldn’t even hold my smirk in from her comment. But she wasn’t the one I was supposed to be scolding in that moment. Therefore, I turned back to Kelly. “I can’t go out tonight. I have to keep trying to find a job.”