There was something so disgustingly vile about the two humans who’d raised us.
Sammie’s whole body broke into uncontrollable shivers. A weighted cry broke from between her lips as she covered her mouth from shock and despair. If I wasn’t there, she would’ve crumbled to the ground and shattered into a million pieces of brokenness. If I wasn’t around, Sammie would’ve hit rock bottom before her mind had had a chance to catch up with the fact that she was falling.
Yet I was there, so into my arms was where she fell.
“I got you, Sammie. I got you,” I promised. She held on to my shirt and began sobbing into my arms.
“Where will I go?” she cried. She was so young, so innocent, at only the beginning stages of her life. She was supposed to be going off to college in the fall and getting her breath of freedom away from our parents. She was supposed to become a doctor. She was supposed to succeed in ways that I never could’ve.
Sammie did everything right, as far as giving Mama and Dad exactly what they’d expected of her. She showed up to church every Sunday and Bible study on Wednesdays. She volunteered at food shelters on her weekends and had received straight As throughout her whole school career. During the summers, she went on mission trips. My little sister was exceptional in every way possible. Even though I was older than her, I looked up to Sammie and her ability to succeed with nothing less than a smile against her lips. My sister was always the definition of success. She was our parents’ golden child, and in her moment of need, they tagged her as fool’s gold and tossed her back into the stream.
“With me,” I promised, holding her close to me as I comforted her the way our parents should’ve. “You’ll come stay with me in the dorms. Then, when the time is right, we’ll get an apartment together. Don’t worry, Sammie. You’re not alone in this. You’re never going to be alone in this.”
She didn’t reply, because her tears were too consuming. Her body shook as I walked her to her childhood bedroom to gather the essentials that we’d take away with us. I packed her bags for her, because she was too much in a state of shock to do much of anything.
When I was finished packing up her things, I walked her to the car and placed her in the passenger seat. “I’m just going to get your last bag. I’ll be right back,” I told her.
She didn’t reply as she stared forward into the darkening sky before us.
I walked back inside the four walls that had witnessed me grow up and paused at the front door when I saw Mama pulling the suitcase to the front door. She had a scowl sitting against her lips that made her appear ten years older than her actual age.
“Here,” she said, shoving the suitcase my way.
I didn’t say a word, because I knew if I spoke to my mother, nothing decent would fall from my lips. I was standing before a woman who had no love inside her heart. I knew it was pointless to try to argue with her.
“You did this to her, you know,” Mama stated, making me turn back to face her.
“Excuse me?”
“You did this. You were always a bad example to your sister. You were always the troubled child, and she had to watch you grow up. Your sins infected her.”
I narrowed my eyes, baffled by her words. “I’m sorry—are you somehow finding a way to blame me for Sammie being pregnant?”
“If the shoe fits. If it weren’t for you, she wouldn’t have even known about these kinds of things.”
I laughed. “You mean parties? Sorry, Mother, I’m pretty sure she would’ve found out about parties with or without me.”
“Your sins are what led her here. You did this. I bet whatever outfit she wore that night she found in your closet.”
My jaw slacked opened as shock skyrocketed through my system. “What does that have to do with anything?”
“If she was showing off her body in a provocative way, that would make boys—”
“What is the matter with you?” I snapped, cutting her off. I couldn’t take any more of listening to Mama’s radical beliefs. Was she victim-shaming? Was she blaming my sister for the horrific act that had happened to her body? That had happened to her soul?
How dare she.
“The truth is, Sammie could’ve walked into that house party completely butt naked, and it still wouldn’t have given that animal enough reason to put his hands on her. He raped her, Mama. A disgusting boy took advantage of my sister, and he raped her body. He raped her heart. And somehow you are saying she’s to blame for the acts that happened to her, due to her outfit? Are you insane?”