My life was over. When Alex drove onto the farm, I’d been pacing rapidly like a woman possessed. Just remembering the sight I must have been, made my toes curl up in shame.
The atmosphere between us in the last two days had been horrible. We had barely exchanged a dozen words and only when it had to do with Kayden. I understood why he was hurt. Shame filled my insides. What right did I have to mistrust him when I was the one who had left him with only a letter for an explanation?
We drove to Cleveland in silence. I waited until we reached our destination and when Alex was about to get out of the car, I touched his arm. A current of electricity zipped between us.
“I’m really sorry about what happened,” I said, pleading with my eyes.
He let out a deep sigh and sunk back into his seat. “Is it so difficult to trust me? I can’t believe you’d think such horrible things about me. From the very first day we met Chaz, I’ve done nothing but show you that you can trust me.”
I swallowed hard. He was so right. That first day on the train, he said that he would be waiting at the next station and even though the next train had been delayed, he had been where he had promised to be.
Then there was the confrontation with his parents. I’d been afraid that he would do what his parents wanted and leave me for a more suitable girl. All along he had promised that nothing would ever come between us. And it hadn’t.
“I’m the problem, not you,” I said to him. “In my heart, I know you’d never take Kayden away from me. I just default to thinking the worst any time something happens.”
He was quiet for a few seconds before he spoke again. “Do you think you can reconfigure your settings to think positive things first, at least when it comes to me?” A hint of a smile played on his lips.
“What I can do for sure is promise to work on it,” I said.
He nodded. “That’s good enough. Let’s go.”
Alex took my hand into his, engulfing it in his big strong one, making me feel warm and safe. I inhaled deeply as butterflies rolled in my stomach.
“Nervous?” he asked in the elevator.
“A bit,” I admitted.
“Don’t be. Whatever the doctor says, we’ll face it together.” His confidence was contagious and I found myself relaxing.
This time, the doctor still had a patient with him and we had to wait for fifteen minutes before we went in. I tried to read the doctor’s facial expression as we exchanged pleasantries but he gave nothing away. He was just as pleasant and friendly as the last time.
“What’s the verdict doctor?” Alex asked when we sat down.
“It’s not as bad as Mrs. Turner was told by her doctor two years ago, I think,” Dr. Mueller said. He smiled.
I stifled a giggle. Mrs. Turner sounded like Alex’s mom. He’d automatically assumed that we were married and Alex didn’t correct him.
My heart rose with hope. I tried to tell myself to calm down. Not to set myself up for disappointment but the thought of going completely blind terrified me. I never came to terms with it.
“A lot of things have changed in the optometric world and treatments these days have come a long way. The good news first. I won’t bog you down with the treatment details for now, but we can restore Mrs. Turner’s eyesight to at least eighty percent,” Dr. Mueller said.
My jaw dropped. I pressed a hand to my chest, tears sprouted to my eyes. Eighty percent? “Oh my God, that would be….” I fumbled for the correct word. “A gift.”
“Charlotte was told that her eyesight would deteriorate until she went completely blind,” Alex said.
“Yes. Without this treatment, it will.”
“When can she get it done?”
“It’s an expensive procedure,” the doctor said delicately.
Alex waved an impatient hand away. “She’s covered by my insurance.”
The doctor smiled, clearly relieved. “In that case we can schedule it a week from now. My secretary will give you the details.”
Alex asked for more details about the procedure. I couldn’t concentrate enough to understand. All I kept thinking was that I would see every little change that would happen with Kayden as he grew up. I would know my son’s face.
My body trembled as I tried to wrap my mind around this unexpected gift. We wrapped up with the doctor and Alex and I left and went to the reception area. Alex filled out the forms as Dr. Mueller’s secretary secured an appointment date for us.
Charlotte
The procedure was to be done in a nearby hospital and she would do all the bookings necessary. All I needed to do was to show up. She mentioned the figure of the whole procedure and my jaw dropped. The euphoria cloud that had enveloped me fell away. What was I thinking? I couldn’t afford that kind of money.