If only my parents knew what they had been missing. That was probably one of the reasons why my sister had given up a promising career as a lawyer to stay home and raise her children.
“That’s sad,” Chaz said.
In the back seat, Kayden made happy noises, already understanding the day would be different from his set routine.
Chaz sang nursery rhymes and I joined in when I knew the song. Kayden sang too, if you could call the loud noises he was making singing. Being a family felt like that. As if you belonged. What if Charlotte and I tried again?
The skin on my forehead tightened as I remembered the last two years. For the first six months, I had moved like a zombie. I’d gone through the motions of living but I’d been dead inside. Then the pain had come and the realization that my dreams of a family and life with Charlotte were over.
Then I remembered the last couple of weeks. Spending the day with Kayden. Showing him stuff as only a father could and I wanted it so badly. My longing for a family overrode the fear I felt over being hurt again.
It was a real fear. What if Kayden’s dad came back into his and Charlotte’s lives? Where would that leave me? Confusion swirled in my mind. There were so many what ifs.
Could I trust Charlotte with my heart again? What if she met someone and fell in love? The beginnings of a headache were forming. I gathered those thoughts and stored them in a compartment to be examined later. I was determined that it would be a good day, especially for Chaz and Kayden. They deserved one of those.
We got to the zoo in twenty minutes. Like I’d predicated there were not many people at that time of morning.
“I’ll carry him,” I said and took the front facing carrier from Charlotte and fastened it on myself.
Chaz slid Kayden into the carrier and as soon as he got comfortable, he started kicking his legs in delight. He kept it up as we strolled around the zoo.
“He’s so excited,” she said.
The baby elephants excited him the most and he bounced up and down in the carrier. At one point, I took Charlotte’s hand into mine and she didn’t complain or remove it.
That was what I wanted for my future. To be with the woman I loved and to have a family together.
Charlotte had brought a blanket and after an hour of walking around, we took a break. As fun as the carrier had been for Kayden, he was glad to be back on solid ground.
After feeding Kayden a snack and some milk, Charlotte brought out some sandwiches and a flask of coffee.
“You’re an angel,” I said as I took the mug from her. “Who knew that the zoo could be so exhausting.”
“But fun,” she said, a twinkle in her eye.
“Do you remember the walks we used to take along the river bank?” I asked her.
She laughed softly. “We started off well enough, but we were always in a rush to go back home afterwards.”
“I don’t think that has changed,” I said, my gaze dropping to the lines of her body.
Charlotte’s cheeks reddened. We had always had out of this world physical chemistry. All she had to do was say something or look at me in a certain manner and my dick rose to attention.
“There’s no way I’m not seeing the rest of the zoo,” she said.
“We will,” I said. “If Kayden wakes up.”
He’d fallen asleep lying on his stomach. Charlotte reached out and rubbed his back in gentle round circles.
“Do you miss New York?” she asked abruptly.
“Not one bit.”
“That’s weird considering that New York is your home,” she said.
“Home is usually where your heart is.”
She looked away.
“Tell me something. How bad is your eyesight?”
Alex
She bit her lower lip. “Pretty bad. I was actually diagnosed with a condition in which the eyesight deteriorates.”
I was heartbroken by her words and I asked her more questions but at the end of it, I wasn’t satisfied that she had not gotten a second and maybe even third opinion.
“With the technology these days, I’m surprised they couldn’t do anything about it. When were you told?”
“Not too long ago,” she said.
I knew when Chaz was being evasive. I let it go. It didn’t matter. What mattered was that she needed to see a top ophthalmologist and get a second opinion. I knew there was a top guy in Cleveland. I just had to dig for his name and address.
“There’s a top Ophthalmologist in Cleveland. I’d like to schedule an appointment for you,” I said.
“The eye doctor who diagnosed me seemed pretty confident,” she said.
“I’m not doubting his expertise but even doctors are people and like lawyers they can make mistakes. Besides what will it hurt to have them checked again?” I said.