I wish you all the best Alex. You’re a good man and I hope you find someone who deserves you.
Please don’t look for me. Let me move on with my life. Those are my wishes.
Love always,
Charlotte.
I read the letter over and over again until the words penetrated my brain. Charlotte had left me! I found that part again. She had found someone else. At work.
Nausea rose up my throat. It felt as though I’d swapped lives with someone else. It couldn’t possibly be my Charlotte who had written that letter. We were in love! What was she talking about? I couldn’t stay still. Maybe it was a prank.
But I knew Chaz. She didn’t prank people. Oh God. I was going to be sick. I needed to talk to someone. Amy would know. Wait. I went to the second drawer and yanked it open. A bulky legal sized envelope lay on the top. My hands trembled as I fished out the papers inside.
Divorce papers. I flipped to the last one. Signed, as she had said. And it was Charlotte’s handwriting. The skin around my face tightened. I felt as if I had endured a bad cosmetic surgery. Nothing felt like mine.
I dropped the papers as the nausea rose up my throat. I ran to the toilet and bent over the bowl and retched. I hadn’t had lunch and soon the stench of bile filled the bathroom.
I washed my face in the sink and staggered back to the bedroom. Amy would know. She would have an explanation. I called her and to my relief she picked up the phone on the first ring.
“Alex, did you get a letter as well?” she sounded distraught. My hope sunk.
“Yes,” I said dully. “She said she was leaving me for someone else.” Those were not words I had expected to ever come from my mouth.
“She said the same thing to me. That she wanted to leave her old life behind and start fresh,” Amy said.
I gave her a summary of what Charlotte had written in mine.
“Do you believe that?” she asked.
I stood outside the kitchen window and looked out. She was out there. Probably with a guy.
“I don’t know what to believe any more. She signed the divorce papers. Amy, its so clearly something she’s been planning for a long time.”
“But it doesn’t make sense,” Amy protested. “I know Charlotte and if she was seeing someone at work, then I’d have known it. She was... is my best friend. I know what she can or cannot do and this falls squarely on the latter.”
I contemplated going to her work place. Then I visualized the scenario. None of her colleagues would want to look me in the eye. And no one would admit that they had known what was going on. I’d look and feel like a fool. The guy whose wife had left him for another man. That was one tag I did not want to have.
“We have to find her,” Amy said. “Something is not right.”
I shook my head. “The Charlotte I know would not hurt the people she loves.”
“Exactly! Can we meet, have coffee and figure out what to do?” Amy said.
I glanced at my watch. It was eight. I was usually so occupied in the evenings and now suddenly it stretched out before me with nothing to do. Charlotte was my whole world. Pain stretched my chest. How was I going to continue without her? Who was I without Charlotte?
We said goodbye and I grabbed my car keys from the kitchen counter. We’d agreed to meet in a coffee shop in town. I got there in less than ten minutes. Amy was already there, nursing a mug of coffee. She looked as lost and as sad as I felt.
“Hey,” I said and slid into the chair opposite.
“Hey.” Her eyes were red rimmed. She’d been crying. If only I could cry. I’d have bawled my eyes out all night, man or not. Anything to get the lump stuck in my chest to move.
The waiter came and I asked for a black coffee.
“Won’t you have something to eat? I’m sure you haven’t eaten,” Amy said.
I remembered how hungry I’d been when I got home. It was almost an hour ago and yet in that short time, my life had changed. For the worse. Food had ceased to matter. So had a lot of things. The only thing that mattered was Charlotte.
“Chaz cooked some chili before she left,” I said, realizing how well orchestrated her disappearance had been. A bitter laugh escaped my mouth. “Did she actually think that I’d read her letter while I munched on dinner, thinking what a lovely meal it was?”
Anger was beginning to replace the pain. That was much better. I could deal with anger.
“Alex, don’t you think something is going on here?” Amy said. “Charlotte had been withdrawn in the last couple of weeks. I think something drove her to this. She wouldn’t do something like this.”