Whispering my name, he lowered his head and kissed my forehead and then the tip of my nose. “I’m glad you didn’t have to make that choice.” He pulled me against his chest, folding his arms around me. “I wouldn’t have found peace, Trin. You would’ve known. You would’ve seen me as a ghost or spirit. I would’ve come back to you.”
I looped my arms around his waist, knowing he was right. I should’ve known when I woke up, and in the days that passed, that something was happening, because I hadn’t seen him as a ghost or spirit. “I think I was afraid that Gabriel had managed to do something to your soul,” I admitted, and Zayne tensed against me. “I know that probably sounds bizarre, but I was just so afraid.”
“It’s not bizarre.” Zayne guided my head back as he pulled away just enough that he could see me. “You know I’m always going to be here. Remember? I’ll always be here to make sure you can see the stars. I’m just your Guide...Fallen Angel.”
A shaky laugh left me as I leaned in. Zayne met me halfway, and the moment our lips touched, I let myself finally find a measure of relief. His wintermint scent surrounded me. I could kiss him for an eternity—
Jerking back, my eyes popped open as it hit me. My chest hollowed as I stared at the striking planes and angles of his face, and I thought about my father and all the other angels I’d ever seen. None of them looked older than midtwenties. Hell, most demons didn’t look all that much older. I didn’t know if they just aged incredibly slowly or if they reached a certain maturity and stopped aging. With a sinking sort of feeling, I inherently knew that the Fallen were the same.
I would age each year.
Zayne would not.
21
“Are you okay?” Zayne asked while I continued to stare at
him, on the brink of yet another panic spiral.
“Are you, like, immortal now?” I asked. “Like you won’t age?”
There was a soft, heavy-lidded look that settled into his features. “I was wondering if you were going to ask about that.”
“Oh, no. You’re not going to age, are you?” Groaning, I let my head fall back. “Here I thought going blind and you having to, I don’t know, pick out my clothes for me would eventually strain our relationship—”
“Why in the Hell would you think that would strain our relationship?”
“Well, maybe not the clothing thing, but you know.”
“No. I don’t.” He tipped my head forward so we were eye to eye again. “Explain.”
“If I get lucky, I’ll have enough vision left to see like this much.” I held up my thumb and forefinger, keeping them about an inch apart. “As much as I hate to admit it, I’m going to need help with a lot of things.”
A big, bright smile broke out across his face, surprising me.
I rocked back a little. “Why are you smiling?”
“Because you admitted that you’re going to need help and that’s huge. I figured I was just going to have to sit back and watch you walk into walls for months before you asked for help.”
I stared at him.
“But back to the not smiling part?” he went on. “I’m sort of offended that you think your vision is going to somehow affect the way I feel about you and strain our relationship. Actually, I am offended.”
“I’m not trying to offend you, and it’s not like I think you don’t love me enough to deal with it, but I can’t help worrying about that,” I admitted, feeling like I was naked even though I was completely clothed. “And considering what we faced—what we will face—it feels stupid to even be talking about this right now.”
“It’s not stupid,” Zayne argued. “It’s important. Continue.”
I took a deep breath. “I don’t even know how bad it’s going to get for me. So how can you know that it won’t get annoying? And if it did, I wouldn’t blame you. I get annoyed with myself when I walk into whatever stupid thing that’s been in the same place since the beginning of time. I get annoyed even now when I try to read the instructions or expiration dates on something and I have to guess what I’m reading. So, I just... I don’t want to feel...” Trailing off, I lifted my shoulders in a shrug. “How did we even end up talking about this?”
“You brought it up,” he reminded me, brushing my hair back from my cheek. “I know what you were going to say.”
“Do you know, all-knowing one?”
One side of his lips tipped up. It was a brief grin. “You don’t want to feel like a burden. That’s what you were going to say, but, Trin, nothing about you will ever be a burden. Everything about you is a goddamn privilege.”