“Kinsley, you okay?” he asks, interrupting my thoughts.
I nod. “Yeah, uh, I know you won’t let anything happen to me. That’s just who you are. But at what cost? You’ve already been hit. Maybe I should just go and talk to them and find out what they want.”
“No!” he says, “Promise me, Kins. Promise you’re going to trust me with this.”
I turn and start cleaning up supplies and putting everything away. I know he’s staring at me in the mirror without even looking up at him. He’s relentless, I know that about him, and I know he’s not going to let this go.
“Kinsley...”
I put the last of the supplies away and turn and walk out of the bathroom. I walk down the hallway and back to the living room with him hot on my heels. “Kinsley!” he says again.
I throw my hands up. “Colt, why did you come here?”
“To help you,” he says without thought.
I laugh, and it even sounds bitter to me. “To help me. Why are you worried about me now? You weren’t worried about me three years ago when you slept with me and then left me.”
He shakes his head, and there’s guilt on his face. “Kinsley, it wasn’t like that...”
I hold my hand up to stop him from getting any closer. “I was there, Colt. It was exactly like that.”
“I couldn’t... I wasn’t able to...”
“What?” I interrupt him. “You couldn’t love me? Fine. But you could have been upfront about it. You didn’t have to fuck me and then just walk out of my life.”
He stalks toward me, and there’s nothing stopping him now. He wraps his hands around my arms to hold me still. “Well, I was there too, Kins. And we didn’t fuck. We made love. You know it and I know it. So don’t try to blow it off like it was nothing.”
I lift my chin. He’s hot, mad, and ready to blow, but I’m not afraid of him. “I didn’t blow off anything. You did. When you left me.”
“You’re the one that left Tennessee and moved across the country, Kins.”
I laugh. “Yeah, after you said there could be nothing between us. I thought living across the country would put you out of my mind.”
His hands slide up my shoulders, and he forces me to look at him. “How’d that work for you?”
I hold my lips tight. It would be so easy to admit to him that I think about him every day, but I know it’s no use. He doesn’t care.
“How did it work, Kins?” he asks again. “Did you get me out of your system? Did you forget about me? Because you are still all I think about. Three fuckin’ years later, and I still can’t forget you.”
I gasp. “You’re lying.”
He shakes his head. “Have I ever lied to you?” He winces as soon as he says it.
I stare back at him. No, he’s never lied to me, at least I don’t think he has, but I still don’t believe him. I can’t. Because doing so is going to let my guard down, and I can’t do that. I can’t let him close again. “How do we get out of this? What about the two guys? Are you going to get in trouble for killing them? Maybe we should go to the police and explain things.”
He sits down on the couch and pulls me down next to him. “Kins, I don’t know who the good guys and the bad guys are at this point. I’m not trusting your safety with anyone but me. And don’t worry about me getting in trouble. The two men will never be connected to me or to you.”
“Really? You a magician now? You can just make it all go away?” I ask him. When he doesn’t answer me, it hits me. “Your job. That’s why. Your super secret job that you can’t tell me anything about. That’s how. Right?”
“Kinsley....” he says, shaking his head.
I laugh. “May told me. She says you work for some secret branch of the government.” I hold my hands up. “Don’t be mad at her. She told me when I was really upset about everything that happened with me and you. She said you were trying to protect me.” I laugh out loud. “That’s funny, isn’t it? She thought you didn’t want me because you were trying to protect me or something. I didn’t want to ruin the image she has of her big brother and tell her no, he just wanted to have sex and then ditch me.”
I jump up, no longer able to sit next to him, but I don’t get very far. He wraps his hand around my waist and pulls me to him until I land in his lap. His arms circle me, and I struggle in his lap, but he doesn’t let go or even loosen his grasp. When I tire from struggling, I stop and take notice of what we’re doing. His arms are tight around me, and I can feel the steady beat of his heart in his chest against my back. His nose in the crook of my neck as he breathes me in. I calm myself and just for a second enjoy being close to him. I shouldn’t. I know I shouldn’t, but I physically can’t make myself move right now. “Colt?”