He turned his heard toward me, smirking slightly, and reached across the space between us. I didn’t shy away from his touch. His fingers were rough on my cheek as they slipped past and into my hair. I sucked in a breath as he pulled me closer to him.
“You can’t hurt any more of them,” I whispered, staring into his eyes. I tilted my head toward his palm. “Do you hear me? You can’t kill any more girls.”
“I won’t,” he said. “I never wanted that to begin with.” His grip tightened and I hissed between my teeth. “You think I like killing girls?”
“I think you do what you have to do,” I said. “Or at least what you think you have to do.”
He leaned forward, lips brushing against mine in a soft kiss. “I’m what the family made me,” he whispered. “You know that better than anyone else. You want me to promise to spare more lives? I can promise I’ll try, but that’s the best I’ll do.”
“Fine,” I said, and buried my mouth against his.
I wanted to forget. I kept seeing Omar, bleeding on the ground, and Cam holding his hand. Those final moments, so tender in the middle of all that horror and violence.
I wanted to forget the people I lost on the streets. I wanted to forget the pieces of me I left behind, and all the scabbed-over parts that have hardened into some impenetrable armor that I was afraid would never soften again.
I wanted Cam to make me feel something for once, something that wasn’t fear and rage.
Smoke billowed into the sky and the sirens screamed so close as he pushed his seat back and dragged me over into his lap.
I moved my hips against him and his hands roamed my body, cupped my ass hard, pulled my hair, tugged my top up and off. He kissed my neck, unhooked my bra, licked my nipples. I didn’t care that we were parked on a public street in the middle of the night with a fire burning a couple blocks away. I didn’t care someone might walk past and see what Cam was doing to me.
I wanted it, and I couldn’t stop myself, not as all the emotions I’d been holding back began to pour out.
He shimmied out of his pants, his cock hard against my hands as I stroked him. He bit my lip hard and pulled my hair, then pushed a hand down my jeans and teased my soaking wet slit. He rolled a finger along my clit and I moaned into my mouth, stroking him faster, my back pushing up against the steering wheel until he managed to get my jeans off, my panties shoved to the side, and his thick tip against my dripping desire.
Slowly, I sank down along his shaft and threw back my head with a low gasp.
He filled me like heaven. All the pleasure I’d wanted for so long rushed through me in waves as I rode him. He cupped my ass and fucked me and growled softly as he took my skin, every inch of my tight body. I bore down on his cock and moved faster, faster, biting his tongue, his shoulder, moaning into his ear as he whispered all the filthy truths I wanted to hear.
“You delicious girl,” he growled. “You’ve been thinking about fucking me like this since you came back into my life. I know you can’t help yourself, sliding up and down my cock with that wet little pussy. God damn, you feel good, you filthy girl.”
I moaned in response, riding him, the car shaking, the windows fogging with humidity. He slapped my ass harder and I gasped, trembling, and I wanted to come for him, wanted to come on his thick cock and feel the pleasure I’d been denied for so long, that pleasure I knew only he could give me, despite all the death and the blood and the violence, despite how broken I was.
For once, I could just let myself be with someone.
With him, with Cam, who understood me better than anyone, who accepted me no matter what.
I stared into his eyes and he stared back, and I knew he never lied to me, that he meant it when he said he didn’t want any of this, that he didn’t want anyone to die.
I believed him, god, I believed him, and it felt so good.
I came in a shivering crash of pleasure, my back arched, my head thrown back. He groaned along with me, hands on my hips, and I felt him come in response to my pleasure, heightening my desire, sending me into a dizzying spin of incredible ecstasy as I whispered his name over and over, oh, god, Cam, over and over.
Slowly I came back to myself. I blinked rapidly and collapsed forward onto his chest. He was still inside of me, deep between my legs, and the throbbing warmth of him was strange comfort I’d never experienced before.