I blew out a sigh. I had five monkeys in the Jeep and two sitting on the roof.
Hal was left at the wheel of the Rangeman SUV, and I could see he was turning red, making an effort not to laugh. Hal is one of Ranger’s younger guys. He keeps his blond hair cut short in a buzz cut, he has a personality like a St. Bernard puppy, and he’s built like a stegosaurus.
Ranger’s life is mostly made up of serious business, and it’s not often you see Ranger laughing, but I guess a car full of monkeys was the tipping point because Ranger was smiling.
He took a key out of his pocket and opened the car door. “Do you want the two on the roof inside? Or do you want the five inside to get out of the car?”
“I want the two on the roof inside,” I said.
I rattled the cookie box and threw it into the backseat. Gail’s monkey jumped into the car, and all the monkeys attacked the cookie box. Carl didn’t want any part of it. Ranger had regained his calm, and I thought he was probably calculating the depreciation on his Jeep. Not that this was unusual. I’d done worse to his cars.
“I know I’m going to regret asking,” Ranger said, “but where are you going with the monkeys?”
“I don’t know. Originally, they were in a habitat in the Barrens, but Carl opened the door and they all escaped.”
“Carl?”
“Eep,” Carl said.
Ranger looked at Carl, and Carl gave him a thumbs-?up.
“Anyway, a lot happened in between,” I told Ranger, “but last night, Diesel and I were in the Barrens looking for Wulf and Martin Munch, and we ended up with all these monkeys in the car.”
“Diesel’s been driving these monkeys around?”
“More or less.”
Ranger looked like he might burst out laughing again, but he squelched it.
“It’s not like they’re bad monkeys,” I said. “It’s just that I don’t know what to do with them. Except for Carl, they belong to Gail Scanlon, but Wulf has her locked away somewhere. I can’t bring them back to the habitat and leave them there all alone.”
Ranger cut his eyes to the monkeys. They were fighting over the cookies, shoving them into their mouths, cookies flying everywhere.
“I can put a man at the habitat until this sorts itself out,” Ranger said.
“I don’t know if that’s safe with Wulf prowling the Barrens.”
“Wulf won’t go after my man.”
Ranger motioned to Hal. Hal left the SUV and approached the Jeep.
“You’re going to follow me in the Jeep,” Ranger said to Hal.
Hal’s mouth dropped open and he went white.
“The Jeep’s full of monkeys,” Hal said.
Ranger clapped him on the back. “You’ll be fine. Just don’t touch the cookies.”
We dropped Lula off at her house, and Hal followed behind in the Jeep.
“Hal looks terrified,” I said to Ranger.
Ranger checked him out in the rearview mirror. “This is going to cost me. I’m going to have to give him hazard pay for this trip.”
We took the Turnpike and the Atlantic City Expressway. We exited the Expressway, and Ranger wound his way around the Barrens to Gail Scanlon’s compound. He drove the SUV into the habitat yard and parked. Hal parked behind him, and we all got out. Four monkeys had returned to the habitat and were huddled together on an outside table. They were still wearing their helmets.
“We took the helmets off the monkeys I had in the Jeep,” I told Ranger. “We couldn’t figure out why they were wearing them.”