'What the heck was that?' I yelled.
'Shoot, I'm sorry,' Scrog said. 'But you haven't got much leather back there when you bend over like that.'
I pulled the T-shirt down. 'If you were a gentleman you wouldn't look.'
'Wasn't my fault. I was just about blinded by all that white ass.'
I felt my eyes bug out of my head. 'Excuse me? All that white ass?'
'That didn't come out good,' Scrog said. 'I didn't mean it exactly that way. You're not gonna start crying again, are you?'
'Just drive. Just get the heck back on the road.'
'Actually, after looking at your uh, backside, I wouldn't mind taking some time here to get better acquainted, if you know what I mean.'
'Let me get this straight. You have me wired to explode and now you want to get friendly?'
'Well, yeah.'
'I am so sorry to tell you that as long as I am a walking bomb I am not engaging in friendly activities. If you want to get friendly you're going to have to take this bomb off me.'
'I can't do that. Last time I wasn't careful with you, you kicked me in the head.'
I wasn't sure what to say to that. First chance I got I was going to shoot him in the head, but I didn't want to spook him. I folded my arms across my chest and tried to look petulant. I'd never looked petulant before but it seemed like it fit the role I was playing.
'Is that no?' he asked.
I did an exaggerated pout. 'I've said my last word on the subject.'
Scrog blew out a sigh and backed the car out of the grass and onto the dirt road. 'Where are we going?'
'Stark Street.'
Stephanie Plum 12 - Twelve Sharp
Twenty-two
We were on East State Street, driving toward the center of the city, and we were looking for a Dunkin' Donuts drive-through.
'We passed a bunch of shit,' Scrog said. 'I don't see why it's gotta be Dunkin' Donuts.'
'They make the best coffee. Everybody knows that.'
'They just put a lot of cream in it,' Scrog said. 'All it does is clog your arteries up. And I don't ever remember seeing a Dunkin' Donuts here anyway.'
'Maybe if you go to Greenwood.'
'I hate to keep thinking ill of you, but I'm starting to wonder if you're making us drive around so someone sees us.'
'That's silly. You drive around all the time, and you're never spotted.'
'Yeah, but I'm mostly dressed up like a woman when I'm driving around. I have three different wigs, too.'
'Well I'm sure there's a drive-through on Greenwood.'
'Okay, but that's the last street we're gonna try. After Greenwood we gotta go after Lonnie Johnson.'
This is it,' I said to Scrog. 'It's the building on the right with the door missing and the boarded-up windows on the ground floor.'