We walked to where we could look into the store from the opposite side of the street. We were partially hidden behind a panel van, and we could see Scarzolli moving around, doing nothing. At five of eight she started to go through the closing ritual, and Lula and I crossed the street and hid in the narrow alley separating the store from the neighboring business.
The front lights went out, and we heard the door open and close and the dead bolt get thrown. I peeked around the corner and saw that Scarzolli was walking in the wrong direction. She was walking away from us. I popped out from the alley and tiptoed after her, closing the gap. She sensed I was there, turned and uttered an oath, and took off at a fast shuffle. I was almost within arm's reach of her when Tank stepped out of a shadow, blocking her way.
'Excuse me, m'am,' Tank said.
Scarzolli backed up a step and kicked Tank in the nuts. Hard to believe anyone that old could get her leg up that high, but Scarzolli scored a direct hit. Tank turned white and went down to his knees, hands at his crotch. Ranger was behind him, doubled over laughing.
I tackled Scarzolli and wrestled her to the ground. 'Someone friggin' cuff her!' I yelled.
'I'm trying,' Lula said. 'You gotta hold her still. She's like a octopus, waving her arms and legs around.'
I had at least ten pounds on Scarzolli, and I used my weight to pin her. I saw Ranger's denim-clad legs straddle us both, saw his hands reach over and attach a cuff to Scarzolli's one wrist, and then the other. He was still smiling wide when he lifted me off Scarzolli and got me up on my feet.
'I can always count on you to brighten my day,' Ranger said.
'You just liked seeing Tank get kicked in the nuts.'
'Yeah,' Ranger said on a whisper of laughter. 'That was worth the ticket.'
Tank was up, trying to walk it off.
'Hope you didn't permanently damage anything,' Lula said to him. 'I always had an attraction to you.'
'Most women don't like me,' Tank said. 'On account of I'm too big.'
'I'm not most women,' Lula said. 'I could handle a big man. I like them big. The bigger, the better, is what I say.'
Scarzolli was still on the ground. She was making angry cat sounds, and she kicked out with her feet when anyone came near her.
'It's just a crappy first-time shoplifting charge,' I said to her. 'Get a grip.'
Ranger got her under the armpits, dragged her to the green SUV, and eased her into the back seat.
'Take her to the station,' he said to Tank. 'Bring her around to the back door. Stephanie will follow you in.'
'I'll leave my car here and go with you,' Lula said to Tank. 'The crazy old lady might get out of control, and you might need some help. And after we drop her off, we could go get a burger or something.'
'I'm supposed to watch Stephanie,' Tank said.
'Don't worry about it,' Ranger said. 'I'll take care of Stephanie.'
Stephanie Plum 12 - Twelve Sharp
Fourteen
It was a little after ten when I finally walked into my apartment. No sign of Ranger, so I called Morelli while I waited.
'Long time no see,' Morelli said.
'Miss me?'
'No. Joyce Barnhardt is here with her trained dogs.'
'You're not going to get me going on that one. You hate Joyce Barnhardt.'
'Yeah, but Bob might like the dog part,' Morelli said.
'I just took down the old lady who runs the porn shop on Twelfth. Tank tried to help me, and she kicked him in the nuts.'