Mrs. Apusenja's eyes widened. “We could use the income.” She looked at Nonnie and then back at Ranger. “Is he married?”
“Nope. He's single. He's a real catch.”
Connie did something between a gasp and a snort and buried her head back behind the computer.
“Thank you for everything,” Mrs. Apusenja said. “I suppose you are not such a bad slut. I will go talk to your partner.”
“Omigod,” Connie said, when the door closed behind the Apusenjas. “Ranger's going to kill you.”
The Apusenjas stood beside the Porsche, talking to Ranger for a few long minutes, giving him the big sales pitch. The pitch wound down, Ranger responded, and Mrs. Apusenja looked disappointed. The two women crossed the road and got into the burgundy Escort and quickly drove away.
Ranger turned his head in my direction and our eyes met. His expression was still bemused, but this time it was the sort of bemused expression a kid has when he's pulling the wings off a fly.
“Uh-?oh,” Connie said.
I whipped around and faced Connie. “Quick, give me an FTA. You're backed up, right? For God's sake, give me something fast. I need a reason to stand here until he calms down!”
Connie shoved a pile of folders at me. “Pick one. Any one! Oh shit, he's getting out of his car.”
Connie looked like she was going to bolt for the bathroom. “You lift your ass out of that chair and I'll shoot you,” I said.
“That's a bluff,” Connie said. “Your gun's home in Morelli s cookie jar.”
“Morelli doesn't have a cookie jar. And okay, maybe I won't shoot you, but I'll tell everyone you shave your mustache.”
Connie’s fingers flew to her upper lip. “Sometimes I wax,” she said. “Hey, give me a break. I'm Italian. What am I supposed to do?”
I heard the front door open and my heart started tap dancing. It wasn't exactly that I was afraid of Ranger. Okay, maybe at some level I was afraid of Ranger, but the fear wasn't that he'd hurt me. The fear was that he'd get even. I knew from past experience that Ranger was better at getting even than I was.
I grabbed a bond agreement and tried to force myself to read it. I wasn't making much sense of the words and it was only dumb luck that I wasn't holding the bond agreement upside down when I felt Ranger's hand on my neck. His touch was light and his hand was warm. I'd been expecting it. I'd steeled myself not to react. But I yelped and gave a startled jump anyway.
He leaned into me and his lips brushed the shell of my ear. “Feeling playful?”
“I don't know what you're talking about.” “Watch your back, babe. I will get even.”
Stephanie Plum 9 - To The Nines
Chapter Fourteen
Ranger reached around me and took the bond agreement I'd been holding. “Roger Pitch,” Ranger read aloud. “Charged with assault with a deadly weapon and attempted robbery. Tried to hold up a convenience store. Attempted to shoot the clerk. Fortunately for the clerk, Pitch's gun misfired and Pitch took out his own thumb.”
I could feel Ranger laughing behind me as he turned to the second page. Connie and I were smiling, too. We all knew Roger Pitch. He deserved to have one less thumb.
“Vinnie wrote a five-?figure bond that wasn't totally secured because there seemed to be a low risk of flight,” Ranger said.
“Pitch was a local guy with only one thumb. What could go wrong?” Vinnie yelled from his inner office, his words muffled behind his closed door.
“Goddamnit,” Connie said, opening drawers, looking under her desk. “He's got me wired again. I hate when he does that.” She found the bug and dumped it into a cup of coffee.
“Pitch didn't flee,” Connie said. “He's just refusing to show up for court. He's at home, watching television, beating on his wife when things get boring.”
“He's only a couple blocks from here,” Ranger said. “We can pick him up and I'll call someone in to shuttle him over to the station.”
Roger Pitch was mean as a snake and twice as stupid. Not someone I wanted to tangle with. “Yeah, but Connie has other files. Maybe there's something more fun.”
“Pitch is a fun guy,” Ranger said.
“He's a shooter.”