Angie reached for her milk. “Homosexuality is thought to be the result of an aberrant chromosome.”
“I was going to say that next,” Grandma said.
“What about horses?” Mary Alice asked. “Are there lesbian horses?”
We all looked at one another. We were stumped.
I stood at my seat. “Who wants a cupcake?”
Stephanie Plum 7 - Seven Up
15
GRANDMA USUALLY GETS dressed up for an evening viewing. She has a preference for black patent pumps and swirly skirts just in case there's some beefcake present. As a concession to the motorcycle, she was wearing slacks and tennis shoes tonight.
“I need some biker clothes,” she said. “I just got my Social Security check, and first thing tomorrow I'm going shopping, now that I know you've got this Harley.”
I straddled the bike. And my father helped Grandma get on behind me. I turned the key in the ignition, revved the engine, and the vibrations rumbled through the pipes.
“Ready?” I yelled at Grandma.
“Ready,” she yelled back.
I went straight up Roosevelt Street to Hamilton Avenue, and in a short time we were at Stiva's, parked in the lot.
I helped Grandma off and removed her helmet. She stepped away from the bike and straightened her clothes. “I can see why people like these Harleys,” she said. “They really wake you up down there, don't they?”
Rusty Kuharchek was in Slumber Room number three, the positioning of Rusty indicating that his relatives had cheaped out on his casket. Horrific deaths and those purchasing the top-of-the-line hand-carved, lead-lined, mahogany eternity vessel got laid out in room number one.
I left Grandma with Rusty and told her I'd be back at Stiva's in an hour and I'd meet her by the cookie table.
It was a nice night, and I wanted to walk. I wandered down Hamilton and cut into the Burg. It wasn't quite dark. In another month people would be sitting on porches at this time of night. I told myself I was walking to relax, maybe to think about things. But before long I found myself standing in front of Eddie DeChooch's house, and I wasn't feeling relaxed at all. I was fe
eling annoyed that I hadn't made my capture.
The DeChooch half looked utterly abandoned. The Marguchi half was blasting out a game show. I marched up to Mrs. Marguchi's door and knocked.
“What a nice surprise,” she said when she saw me. “I've been wondering how things are going with you and Chooch.”
“He's still out there,” I said.
Angela made a tsch sound. “He's a wily one.”
“Have you seen him? Have you heard any activity next door?”
“It's like he dropped off the face of the earth. I never even hear the phone ringing.”
“Maybe I'll just poke around a little.”
I walked around the perimeter of the house, looked in the garage, paused at the shed. I had Chooch's house key with one, so I let myself in. There was no sign that DeChooch had visited. A stack of unopened mail sprawled across the kitchen counter.
I knocked on Angela's door again. “Are you taking DeChooch's mail in?”
“Yes. I bring the mail in each day and make sure everything's okay over there. I don't know what else to do. I thought Ronald might have come around to get the mail, but I haven't seen him.”
When I got back to Stiva's, Grandma was at the cookie table talking to Mooner and Dougie.
“Dude,” Mooner said.