I raised my eyebrows.
“Nothing personal,” Morelli said, “but you've got bad people following you around. I don't want someone sniping at you through my kitchen window.”
“You think it's that serious?”
“Honey, your car was bombed.”
I was starting to get used to it. “How did you spot Mary Lou and me?”
“Rule number one, when you've got your nose pressed to someone's window . . . don't talk. Rule number two, when doing surveillance don't use a car with vanity plates that have your best friend's name on them. Rule three, never underestimate nosy neighbors. Mrs. Rupp called and wanted to know why you were standing in the alley, looking into her windows, and she was wondering if she should call the police. I explained it was most likely my windows you were looking in and reminded her that I was the police, so she needn't bother with another phone call.”
“Well, it's all your fault because you won't tell me anything,” I said.
“If I told you what was going on, you'd tell Mary Lou, and she'd tell Lenny, and Lenny would tell the guys down at the plumbing supply house, and the next day it'd be in the newspaper.”
“Mary Lou doesn't tell Lenny anything,” I said.
“What the hell was she wearing? She looked like the friendly neighborhood dominatrix. The only things missing were a whip and a pimp.”
“She was making a fashion statement.”
Morelli looked down at my utility belt.
“What kind of a statement is this?”
“Fear.”
He gave his head a disbelieving shake. “You know what my biggest fear is? I worry that someday you might be the mother of my children.”
I wasn't sure if I should be pleased or annoyed, so I changed the subject. “I deserve to know about this investigation,” I said. “I'm sitting right in the middle of it.” He was just implacably staring at me, so I hit him with the heavy stuff. “And I know about your late-?night meetings with Terry. And not only that, but I am not going away. And I will continue to harass and follow you until I figure this out.” So there.
“I'd tie you up and wrap you in a rug and drive you to the landfill,” Morelli said, “but Mary Lou would probably finger me.”
“Okay, so how about sex? Maybe we can make a deal?”
Morelli grinned. “You've got my attention.”
“Start talking.”
“Not so fast. I want to know what I'm going to get for this information.”
“What do you want?”
“Everything.”
“Not working tonight?”
He looked at his watch. “Shit. Yeah, I'm working. In fact I'm late. I need to relieve Bunchy on a surveillance watch.”
“Who are you watching?”
He stared at me for a moment. “Okay, I'm going to tell you, because I don't want you riding all over Trenton looking for me. But if I find out you leaked this to anyone I swear I'll come get you.”
I held my hand up. “Scout's honor. My lips are sealed.”
Stephanie Plum 5 - High F
ive