“You left me for far longer than a few minutes, to make out with your old girlfriend.” Her voice catches as she speaks. She pauses and swallows, then goes back to her packing.
Silently I damn Carole and myself... mainly myself. This is all my fault. With the realization comes a blinding anguish.
“So now you’re running off back to Ashford,” I lash out before I can stop myself. “Tell me, is it Eddie Newton who’s going to be picking up the pieces of your broken heart, or will it be somebody else?”
“What do you care?” She chokes out the words.
I care. I care so much I feel as if my senses are being obliterated. “For God’s sake, Sophie!”
She steps away from me, as if I’ve threatened her. “Let me go.” She whispers almost inaudibly. “I don’t belong here, in this big apartment, or in your luxurious life, and we both know it.”
“You don’t know what you’re saying.”
She sniffs and looks up at me. “David, do you love me?”
I stiffen, looking from her face to the bags on the bed and back again, I don’t want to deal with her question. I can’t, not now, not yet.
“What’s come over you?” I ask, eager to steer the conversation in another direction.
It doesn’t work. “Do you love me, David?” She asks again.
I turn away from her. “What do you want from me?” I’m not a man who loves. I know what she’s asking me. She’s asking if I’m willing to open myself up to hurt, to betrayal.
I’m not.
“You don’t love me do you?” She states softly, with the wounded expression of someone hearing the confirmation of something they already knew.
I scramble in my head for something to say. “Love isn’t all it’s cracked up to be Sophie.” I say finally. “Other people would take what they have and be grateful for it.”
“And what do I have?” She asks accusingly, “tell me the truth David. Why did you marry me?”
How could I not? How do I tell her about the lust that drove me to claim her body, the possessiveness that made me tie her to me, and the desire now to have not only that body, but also everything that comes with it?
She took my body prisoner that first day. There was no way I could have left her in Ashford. No matter the reasons I’ve given myself for marrying her, it was because I knew even then, that I wanted her forever.
And I still do.
I can’t let her go.
I reach for her, my eyes never leaving hers as I run my fingers down her arm. Her lips tremble softly as she shivers.
She can’t hide her reaction to my touch. “Because of that.” I tell her. If we have nothing else, we have that. The pleasure we find in each other’s arms.
I continue to explore her body, drawing out the reactions I know she can’t conceal. Feeling her tremble beneath my fingers, I lean closer to whisper in her ear. “Because of this, Sophie. This is what we have between us.”
“This is only sex.” She says shakily. “We have nothing.”
What we have is enough, and I’ll be damned if I don’t make her accept that.
I know how to make her light up, and as I touch her, I can feel her resistance crumbling.
“Is this nothing, Sophie?” I whisper, letting my breath warm her ear. I hear her ragged sigh, the shaky explosion of breath. “Don’t you want this Sophie?” I continue, “Don’t you want me to touch you? To make love to you, over and over again?” I kiss her neck exactly where I know she likes. “Isn’t it enough?”
She shakes her head. “No.”
“Don’t lie to yourself? Sophie, what else is there?” My fingers are busy, undressing her. I let her dress fall to the ground, exposing her flushed skin. I continue to tease her, touching her lightly, until I know she is aching for more
She is begging me with her eyes and body to make love to her, but it’s not enough. I want her complete capitulation. I want to hear her say it.