I already knew the answer to the question. He lives up to his name, Amy had said. Wild. Still, I wanted to hear him say it. For some reason, I needed to hear him say he wasn’t interested in love and relationships.
“No.” His voice was low. “I’ve never had any interest in looking for something that doesn’t exist.”
“I wouldn’t go so far as to say love doesn’t exist.”
“Why not? Have you ever been in love?”
I shook my head.
He raised one shoulder in a triumphant shrug. “See?”
“My parents were in love,” I said softly. Why was I telling him that? Why did I want to convince him he was wrong? Why did I care? “I’ve seen it happen,” I continued. “Even though it’s never happened to me.”
He shrugged again. “It’s easy to make all sorts of assumptions about other people’s relationships, but personal experience is what I go by, and love? No.”
I didn’t understand why his conviction on the topic made me feel like I had lost something more than an argument. It wasn’t like I wanted him to fall in love with me or anything as ridiculous as that. As he looked down at me, a lock of hair fell from his crown to his forehead. Absently, he pushed it back. I balled my fingers, shaken by how much I wanted to smooth them through his hair.
I bit my bottom lip. “So…you just do casual sex?”
“Among other things.” His eyes stayed on my lips, and they practically smoldered. I caught my breath, wondering how I would extricate myself after digging into this hole, alone, with him. “I work hard,” he continued, “and I play hard.”
“And what happens when you play with someone who wants more? What happens when your ‘playmates’ fall in love with you? You just break hearts?”
“No.” His voice was soft and he moved closer to me until our bodies were almost touching. “Everyone who gets in bed with me gets exactly what they want, great, mind-blowing sex.”
I was thinking of all the ways I wanted to fuck him again. “You’re very confident,” I said. My throat was suddenly dry.
“I am.”
I pulled in a breath. “Whatever works for you, Jason.”
“What about you?” he countered. “What works for you?”
You. You, Jason Wild.
“Right now?” I shrugged. “Nothing. I’m taking some time to be with myself…for now.”
“What does that mean?” He looked very interested. “No dating, no sex?”
I nodded. “Yes, that’s exactly right.”
“Are you saying that because you think I’m trying to get you into bed?”
“Would it scare you off?”
He smiled. “No.”
I exhaled. “I said it because it’s true. No dating, no sex.”
He looked amused. A smile danced at the corner of his lips for a moment, and then he let out a small chuckle.
“What?” I said. “You can say it.”
He held up his hands. “I want to say I’m not quite sure how that works, but I’m guessing it’s none of my business how you choose to get off…or not.”
His gaze burned through mine and I tried not to remember all the fantasies I’d already had about him.
“You’re right,” I said. “It’s none of your business, and I don’t want to spend tonight talking about it.”