Only, it doesn’t work. My head is filled with Liz’s smile, her scent, her taste, her moans.
“Fuck me,” I mutter. “And fuck you Liz.”
Once, she’d knocked my legs out from under me, and now I’m supposed to believe that she’d done it for me, because in her own way, she cared too much about me? Loved me so much she wanted me to forget about her and move on?
Fuck her lies.
Back inside, I switch on the TV, then settle on the couch and flick through the channels, not really interested in the images on the screen.
Then I see something that makes me pause.
A news anchor is talking about international politics, but the Chyron visible across the bottom of the screen leaves me reeling in shock.
Dennis McKay dead of a heart attack.
Fuck.
The news switches to two entertainment correspondents.
“Sad news from here in New York, Dennis Mckay, the renowned Broadway producer, best known for many successful productions has died earlier tonight of a heart attack. He has been battling cancer for a year and according to sources, seemed to be on the road to recovery. His daughter is actress Liz McKay who is in the city and was with him when he passed. We understand she will release a statement soon.
“Sad news,” the co-anchor intones. “Dennis McKay fought a valiant battle with cancer, and the sickness took a toll on him, leaving him vulnerable to this attack.”
There’s a sober silence. “Sad as Broadway loses a legend. We will bring you the statement from McKay’s family as soon as it’s available.”
I put my head in my hands.
When was the last time I saw Dennis? More than a year ago at a charity function.
After Liz. After that play, I’d never worked with him again, not because I didn’t respect him, but because he was a reminder of what I’d lost.
I hadn’t known that he was sick.
Even when Natalia took over his company.
Poor Natalia…
And Liz.
Jesus! Liz.
I recall her face as she walked past me, hurrying into the SUV. Had she known then? Probably. She’d been hurrying to be with her father in his final moments.
To deal with losing him after having to deal with my cruelty.
I’m already walking out of the apartment. I have to go to her, and I don’t care if she doesn’t want to see me. After the things I said to her, I deserve for the door to be shut in my face, but I’ll try. I’ll be there for her.
If she’ll still have me.
Chapter Twenty Eight
Liz
Only two days, and now I have to say goodbye forever.
My hands are shaking. It’s quiet in my dad’s room, and his bed stares back at me, mocking me with its emptiness. I’m desperate to close my eyes, open them again and see him lying there, or walking around, healthy, the way he used to be.
Guilt racks me. I’d spent so little time with him since I left to pursue my career. I’d missed so much, but I assumed there’d be time, after the next movie, after the next…whatever…and now he’s gone forever.