“Nothing.” I meet Landon’s concerned gaze. “I get that you guys are worried, but this is not seven years ago. I’m not going to descend into a spiral of misery and depression just because of a girl.”
“Not just any girl,” Rachel amends. “It’s Liz. Have you seen her? Spoken to her?”
“Yes.”
“And?”
I still love him. “And…Nothing. It’s not a big deal.”
“It’s only a few months at the most.” Landon shrugs. “Seven years is a long time. You’ve both grown a lot since then… and moved on.”
Except I haven’t moved on. I still want Liz. I’m still mourning the loss of what we had…what we could have had, and sometimes the pain is enough to make me want to scream at the sky in frustration.
Rachel is looking at me, almost as if she can read my thoughts. “Maybe at least there’ll be some closure.”
The idea is tempting, too tempting. I shake my head. “Closure is just another name for letting someone back into your life to reopen old wounds because you can’t bear to let go.”
“I disagree.” Landon hands me a drink. “But closure isn’t necessary when you’ve both moved on.”
“They haven’t…” Rachel sighs. “Men,” she mutters under her breath. “Aidan—”
I rise from the armchair, shaking my head. “I’m done talking about her for today. Now, I’m going to see my niece, and then I’m taking my nephews out for sunshine and ice-cream.”
“Please.” Rachel accepts at once. “They’re driving me crazy with their energy.”
I reach the top of the stairs before I hear Landon’s voice. He’s talking to Rachel. “You don’t think he can handle it? It’s been years. He got over her a long time ago.”
Rachel’s reply is low but heated. “Except he didn’t.” She snorts. “You men are so blind it’s a miracle that you can find your way around.”
Landon chuckles. “I have you to show me the way.”
She giggles. “Aren’t you lucky?”
Done eavesdropping, I make my way to the nursery, cooing at little Penelope in her crib before taking the boys out. I need all my energy to keep up with them, even with their nanny helping. And yet, through it all, somewhere in the back of my mind, there’s Liz, whispering over and over again.
I still love him.
Chapter Twenty
Liz
“What were you thinking?” Fiona exclaims, handing me a margarita. We’re in the kitchen of the lovely Brooklyn townhouse she shares with her husband Lionel and her four-year-old daughter, Lily.
“I wasn’t…I wasn’t thinking at all.”
“Not even a tiny little let-me-shake-things-up bit?” She raises an eyebrow in my direction.
“No!” I place my hands over my face, remembering Aidan’s fury at the presser.
“That was some stunt,” Natalia had said afterward. “That’ll generate even more buzz, but Aidan is livid. Did you think about that? His reaction?”
I hadn’t expected him to be so mad, that was for sure.
Fiona is still looking at me, one eyebrow raised. “Maybe…a little,” I concede. “I thought…I wanted to stop him from telling everyone how little he thinks of me, but yeah, a small part of me also hoped that hearing me say I still cared…”
“That it would soften him a little? Make him more amenable to give audience to the woman who tore out his heart and left him bleeding?”
I sigh. No matter how everyone else in the world treats me, I can always count on Fiona to tell me what she really thinks. “If you don’t think he can forgive me, then maybe there’s no point.”