“No. I’m going to take a little walk.”
“You know you could come over to my place for a nightcap.”
I close the door, not bothering to give her an answer before turning in the opposite direction. I should be thinking about the play, obsessing over the minutiae and technicalities, but here I am obsessing over Liz instead.
My fingers are still tingling from touching her for that short second when I smoothed her hair.
Why did I do that?
Why couldn’t I resist my insane urge to touch her?
I walk past familiar hangouts, every word of our conversation replaying in my mind. I consider, then shelve the idea of calling Landon to talk about it. What would I say? I’m obsessed with the beautiful, talented, and infuriating star of my play?
Even if she could stand to talk to me for five minutes, I’d still be crazy to think about her as anything more than a young, impressionable actress. And considering that she hates me, well, I’m crazy to be thinking about her at all.
By the time I reach my apartment, my mind is no clearer than it was when I left her. An image of her face drifts into my thoughts, along with a memory of how desperate I’d been to reach out and touch her. I shake my head. I must have imagined the feeling…or at least, the intensity.
I just need to get through the next few weeks, and once the play opens and I’m no longer spending all day with her in rehearsals, I will forget all about her.
“I’m not going,” Liz declares. Her voice is firm, with a barely perceptible tremor that betrays the vulnerability of the character. “Everybody thinks I’m lying, but I’m not.” She reaches for Kyle’s face. “Why can’t you tell them the truth, why not tell everyone how you feel?”
Kyle steps back. He’s caught between his desire for a headstrong girl on a path to self-destruction and the choices he knows he should make. “You’re acting crazy. God! You’ve been crazy since this whole thing began.”
She reaches for him again. This time, her eyes are large and wet, imploring. Kyle sighs, his resistance crumbling. “Anna,” he whispers, leaning his forehead against hers, “You’re so beautiful, so innocent…”
“Cut…” I call out.
Liz stops moving but doesn’t look at me. I ignore her and face Kyle. “Look, you’ve been denying these emotions to everyone and to yourself. You’re capitulating to the only other person who already knows your deepest desires. I want to see you surrender. Let go of the lies and denials and admit there’s more than just an innocent relationship between you and this vulnerable girl. You’re saying I’m a liar. I seduced her, and I still want her enough to risk everything I have.”
Kyle throws up his hands. “I get that. I’m trying to give you that. I’ve been trying all morning.”
I ignore his outburst. Next to Liz’s luminous, ephemeral talent, he’s in danger of looking wooden. “You haven’t succeeded.”
“Maybe if you showed me what you wanted…” He gestures to Liz beside him on the stage. “Maybe you can do the scene with her and show me what you want?”
Is he trying to score a cheap point? I’m about to say something dismissive, when I see the look on Liz’s face.
It’s horror.
At the thought of sharing the stage with me.
She schools her expression, but I can still feel her resistance to the idea like a cold front blowing from the stage. Her eyes meet mine, and I can feel her willing me to refuse.
I should refuse.
I should.
Smiling, I leave my seat, ignoring Kyle’s surprise and Liz’s palpable panic.
“I don’t think…” she starts.
“What?” I’m still smiling. “It’s just one scene.”
Her brow furrows, and she turns away.
I know I shouldn’t be doing this. She’s the only reason I’m up on the stage. I’m still unable to resist the urge to push her buttons.
I start the scene with the first line. After a moment’s hesitation, she responds. After that, my awareness of her merges into the desires, emotions and motivations of both characters. She transforms into her character. One moment she’s behind me, her hand lightly stroking my arm, then she’s standing in front of me, her fingers on my face, her eyes boring into mine. “Why not tell everyone how you feel,” she pleads.