She buries her face in my chest. “I’m sorry.”
My arms tighten. God, I don’t want to let her go. “Are you sure you won’t go up? Laurie was very worried.”
She shakes her head. “No. I want to come with you.”
In the car, she switches on her phone and replies to her messages. I try not to torture myself with images of what could have happened. I try not to connect my fears to what happened to my family twenty years ago.
Why didn’t she wait for me?
It’s just sex, Landon.
She still doesn’t trust me. She still wouldn’t hesitate before walking away. Where does that leave me?
Am I fooling myself by thinking we have a chance when she’s looking for any excuse to end things?
At my place, I go to change then lay out dinner. She disappears to the bedroom for a while, and when she returns, I see she has discovered the additions to the closet. I commissioned a couple of personal shoppers to stock the wardrobe with two weeks’ worth of clothes and accessories for her. It was meant to be a pleasant surprise, but now I’m not sure what it is.
She’s wearing a pair of sleeping shorts and a tank top. I chose them personally, because of how similar they are to a pair she already owns.
“I hope you don’t mind,” I say quietly, barely looking at her. “I thought having a few things here…”
“I don’t mind,” she replies in a small voice. “They’re all perfect.”
“I’m glad you like them. The shoppers came highly recommended, but in case there’s anything else you want or something you wish to exchange, I’ll make sure you have their contact details.”
“Okay.”
We have dinner in front of the TV, watching a show. After, we finish a bottle of wine together. We talk little, and we don’t talk at all about what happened.
When the show is over, she reaches over and takes my hand. “I’m sorry,” she says again.
I take her hand in mine. “You don’t have any reason to be jealous, Rachel. You have to believe me when I tell you that.”
“I don’t know what I was thinking.” Her eyes close. “I wasn’t thinking at all.”
I can understand that—not thinking, acting on emotions alone. Before her, that would have been foreign to me, but now, I understand. “No matter what happens, don’t run. I want this to work, and I want to be sure you want the same thing.”
Her voice is firm. “I do.”
I draw her into my arms, and she lays her head on my chest while I stroke her hair. I want to take all her doubts away, and mine too, but I don’t know how.
“I was so worried. When your phone went off…” I close my eyes. “I don’t think I’ve ever been so afraid in my life.”
Her only response is a soft sigh. She’s exhausted, and after a few minutes, she falls asleep on my chest.
Chapter 26
The next day, when I arrive at Rachel’s apartment to pick her up for the cocktail mixer, she meets me at the door. As usual, she looks stunning.
For a few moments, I just stare, thanking all the stars that aligned to bring her to my apartment on the night we met.
I take her hand. “Rachel, I’ll never get used to how beautiful you are.”
“Thank you.” She’s blushing, and it’s almost too cute. “You look fab, as usual.”
I’m more interested in touching her than in enjoying her compliments. I trail my fingers down her arm, wishing we didn’t have to go anywhere.
“Are you ready?”