“I’m not ready for that.” I shook my head and sighed. “Maybe one day, but not until I’ve spent more time alone to figure myself out.”
“Nothing wrong with that.” Sawyer nodded and smiled. “It’ll just make your next love story that much more interesting for the fans.”
“My next one will be real—right from the start.” I reached for my guitar. “All right, I need to get some more work done before I head home.”
“Sure thing.” Sawyer waved and walked towards the door.
The dress that I wore for the Country Music Awards was the most expensive one I had ever put on. It was a custom-made taffeta Vera Wang gown with a classic fishtail design. I even had a Bulgari necklace to complete the ensemble. It was the kind of dress I would have only dreamed of wearing when I still lived in Texas. I was able to fly my parents and Misty to Nashville for the show. I had a brief visit with all of them when the tour took me through Texas, and they got to see me perform live for the first time, but I still missed being able to see them every day. Sawyer wasn’t happy that I had declined an opportunity to play Shattered Again live at the award show, but I really didn’t have the stomach for it. It was going to be hard enough knowing that they were giving the Scumbag of the Year Award to Brendan.
I wonder if he even knows they’re doing this to him.
Brendan stopped calling after he left Nashville. It was for the better, but I still couldn’t help but worry about him. I knew what he went through after his previous relationship was torn apart, and I hoped he had dealt with our separation without letting it destroy him. Even if he was a liar, I didn’t have anger left inside me for him. I walked to my seat and exchanged hugs with my parents and Misty. We had been separated since earlier in the day due to all the pictures I had to pose for. They were rather starstruck with so many popular singers around. There were even a few television and movie stars in the mix, either on the arms of a country star, or attending on their own. I had gotten to the point where I hardly noticed it when famous people surrounded me, although there were a few that still made the schoolgirl inside me want to break down into total fangirl mode.
“Is that—oh my god, it is!” Misty pointed, and I grabbed her arm.
“No, don’t point. That’s not nice.” I gave her a grimace and she nodded.
“Sorry. I’m just not used to this.” She grinned from ear to ear.
“Hey, isn’t that one of the guys that used to play with us in Texas?” My mother pointed to a guy standing near a couple of celebrities, laughing along with them.
“Yeah.” My father nodded. “We should say hello.”
“They get to talk to people? Why can’t I talk to people?” Misty scooted over next to me and grabbed my arm.
“Fine, you can talk to anyone here that you know.” I looked around the room. “That leaves me and my parents.”
“You’re no fun. Hey, do you think you could set me up with Dierks Bentley or Chris Stapleton?” She squeezed my arm harder.
“They’re both married.” I shook my head back and forth.
“Jason Aldean?” She raised her eyebrows hopefully.
“Married.” I tilted my head and laughed. “Actually, I think you’d be wife number three or four if he wasn’t.”
“Damn it, all the good guys are married. No wonder Sawyer set you up with Brendan. All the good ones are married!” She leaned back and pouted.
“You know, I might know someone.” I patted her hand. “Let’s wait until after the show is over.”
“Who is it, come on—give me a hint.” She leaned forward and grabbed my arm again. “I bet it’s Kenny Chesney.”
“He’s like fifty years old!” I turned my head towards her with a shocked expression on my face.
“So…” She shrugged.
“No, it’s someone your age.” I shook my head in confusion and shooed her when my parents walked back up.
“Your mother got Tim McGraw’s autograph.” My father chuckled as he took his seat. “And it isn’t on a piece of paper.”
“What—Mom, you didn’t…” I looked at her with an eyebrow raised.
“Let’s just say Faith’s gonna be a little jealous.” She giggled like a starstruck child.
“I’m jealous and I have a kid with you.” He nudged me with his elbow.
“Oh my god.” I shuddered and gave them both a sideways stare. “I’m never inviting any of you to an awards show again.”
I had prepared my parents and Misty for the joke awards that would start the show, but only one of them would hit close to home. We agreed to stoically watch, and not make eye contact with the camera when they said Brendan’s name. It would be focused on me no matter what, especially since he wasn’t going to be there to accept the award. That was going to be the hardest part of the ceremony. I actually hoped I didn’t win the Rising Star Award, just so I didn’t have to get on stage and address it in any capacity. It seemed inevitable though, if what Sawyer’s insider information was accurate. I laughed at the first few, but when I saw the presenter walk out with Brendan’s award, I squeezed my father’s hand as tight as I could.