“Nathan?” His jaw fell open. “Oh my god! It’s you!”
The old man that could barely stand up in the morning started walking towards me in a trot as I threw a leg over my motorcycle. He looked… happy, with surprise etched on his face. He grabbed me in a strong embrace and hugged me. He had never hugged me before, not one single day of my miserable life. I was completely taken off guard, so much so that I nearly stumbled back into my motorcycle. I looked over his shoulder and saw a woman walk out onto the front porch. She had graying hair, appeared to be about his age, and there was a little girl hanging onto her left leg.
“Grandma, who’s that?” The little girl pointed at me.
“I think…” The older woman tilted her head to the side.
“It’s my son!” My father broke the embrace and looked over his shoulder. “It’s Nathan.”
What is this, the fucking Twilight Zone?
“Well don’t just stand in the yard, come on inside. I just made a fresh pitcher of lemonade.” She motioned for us to follow her.
I didn’t have much time to figure things out in my head before he started walking back towards the house. I followed behind him, mostly because I was absolutely certain someone had replaced my father with a robot. When I got inside the house, I saw that the entire place had been redecorated. He introduced the woman that I saw on the porch as his wife, Linda. The little girl was her granddaughter, Julie. After we said our introductions, Linda took Julie upstairs and I sat down at the kitchen table with my father. I looked around the kitchen, taking in all the sights and trying to make sense of what I saw.
“Looking for empty booze bottles?” My father’s face took on a solemn stare once Linda and Julie were gone.
“More like… surprised that I don’t see any.” I nodded and sipped my lemonade.
“I’ve been sober four years now—married for two.” He looked towards the stairs. “That woman saved my life.”
“I’m sorry, Dad, but what the fuck?” I put down my glass and threw my arms up in the air.
“You have every right to hate me.” He nodded and sighed.
“You’re damn right I do.” I dropped my arms and glared at him. “What, you waited until I was gone to get cleaned up and turn your life around? You couldn’t do it when I needed you?”
“I’m sorry, Nathan—oh, right. You prefer Nate. It was actually your leaving that made me realize I needed help. I was a mess back then. Hell, you remember, of course. I don’t even know how long you were gone before I noticed. I woke up one day with a hangover, and it occurred to me that I hadn’t seen you in a while.” He sighed and shook his head. “I figured you were staying with Eddie, but he told me you left Bakersfield. He told me why, too. I guess that was the wakeup call.”
“Why?” I narrowed my eyes at him. “You never gave a fuck about me. You beat the shit out of every chance you got until I got too big for you to throw around.”
“I was a shitty husband. That’s why your mom left. I was an even shittier father. I know that. I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but if you’re back, you’ll always have a place to stay.” He motioned to the house. “It’s a little nicer than it was back then thanks to Linda.”
“I’m fine. I have somewhere to stay.” Despite his transformation, I couldn’t warm up to the new man he had become.
“I understand.” He nodded and sipped his lemonade. “After I started to get clean, I met Linda. She convinced me to go to church and kept me from falling off the wagon when times got dark. I had to marry a woman like that. She didn’t care how awful I had been in the past. She just loved the man she saw—as broken as I was.”
“I don’t want to hear about your happy ending. The only reason came here was to look you in the eyes and tell you that you didn’t break me. That despite all of the shit you put me through, I still became my own man.” I shook my head back and forth. “I guess I’ve said what I needed to say, even if you’re not the man I thought you’d be.”
“Won’t you stay for a while? I’d love to hear what you’ve been up to since you left Bakersfield.” He reached out and tried to put his hand on mine.
“No.” I pulled my hand away. “I’m not ready to have that conversation. I’m not sure I ever will be.”
I stood up and walked to the door. I was angry. I felt like I had been denied the opportunity I needed to release the rage pent up inside me for so long. I wanted to scream at a drunk. To kick him until he was forced to open his eyes and recognize me. I wanted to throw him around the room the way he used to do to me. I wanted him to sit on the floor and cry while blood ran down his face. All I could do was scream into the wind while the motorcycle drowned out the sound. I squeezed the throttle as I got to the edge of Bakersfield. I stared at the sign that brought me so much joy the first time I passed it when I ran away. I released the throttle and brought the motorcycle to a stop in front of the sign.
She’s wrong. Angelina is wrong.
I turned my motorcycle around and started riding back towards the hotel where Angelina was staying. She brought me back to Bakersfield to help me find closure with my family. She didn’t just bring me back for Harmony. I knew that from the beginning, but for the first time, I realized she was wrong. If love could turn someone like my father from a raging beast to a calm, mild-mannered man, then there was no reason for Harmony to walk multiple roads to find me. We had already found each other. Nothing else mattered. We could tackle the world like a normal couple would, with all the complications that went with it. Love—love could conquer anything.
11
Harmony
I finally trusted Angelina. Her methods were complex and made me question everything I knew about conventional love, but I saw past the mirage. My shell had been cracked and it was falling off around me. I walked back downstairs and when I got to Angelina’s suite, I heard shouting inside. I decided not to knock on the door, so I hid around the corner and waited. A few minutes later, I saw Nate storm out of her suite and walk down the hallway. There was a part of me that wanted to rush to him. I wanted to tell him that I was finally coming around to what Angelina said. Another part of me was scared to even approach him. If there was some sort of rift between him and Angelina, I didn’t want to be in the middle of it. I needed Angelina. She had opened my eyes and exposed my soul. I needed to know what was next.
“Angelina?” The door was still ajar when I approached. “Is everything okay?”
“Yes.” She turned towards me and nodded. “Why wouldn’t it be?”