There was a time when my father would have lost every bit of his cool if he walked outside and saw me with a glass of wine. It was clear that he saw me in a different light after the ordeal. I was no longer his little girl, the one he had to look after. I had grown up and I made mistakes, but I had gotten lucky because Shane was there to save me. Shane had shattered the veil of innocence that made me a child.
I was a woman in his arms. Once my father was back inside, I picked up my wine glass and kept drinking. I liked the peace and quiet of the evening, but it was nothing like the peace I felt in the mountain cabin with Shane. It was easy to admit I missed him, but hard to do anything about it.
I hoped my father was telling the truth when he said that Shane wouldn’t have to do time because of his crimes. The man that had existed six years ago was clearly not the man who came down the mountain just to keep me from freezing to death.
I would never be able to thank him enough and I would never forget him, even if our lives never came together again. It hurt to think about that, but I knew life had to go on.
I miss you.
MY CELEBRITY STATUS faded when classes started. I got the window replaced in my car, but it never really ran the same again. It made me late for class a couple of times and I had no choice but to trade it in. My father was willing to get me a new car, but I didn’t really care about having anything fancy.
I settled for an old Toyota that promised good gas mileage instead of the BMW he tried to push on me. I faded into the scenery of school, not really caring much about the parties on the weekend or getting wasted with my friends. I just wanted to finish school and leave it behind.
I often thought of Shane. Sometimes it was over a glass of wine at the end of the day and sometimes it was long nights alone in my bed, imagining the things we did when we were together. I had no idea if he even thought about me, but I knew I could never forget him—I didn’t want to forget him.
God, I miss having you inside of me.
A YEAR PASSED AND THE winter winds blew through Tennessee again. A storm was on the horizon, but it was nothing like the one I faced the previous year when I met Shane. They said that one was once in a lifetime. They didn’t know how true those words really were.
“You really won’t come to the mountains with us this year?” One of my friends, Amelia, nudged my arm as she walked beside me.
“I think I’ve had enough mountain vacations to last a lifetime.” I shook my head.
“We’ll give you directions.” She laughed. “Hell, you can ride with us this time.”
“I think I’ll just spend my winter break at home.” I shrugged and shook my head. “I’d prefer not to risk it.”
“Have you heard from him at all?” She asked. “The guy that saved you.”
“No, he doesn’t really have a phone.” I sighed. “He probably doesn’t want to hear from me anyway since I got him arrested.”
“Damn, he was hot.” She raised her eyebrows a couple of times. “I’d love to get trapped in a cabin with him for a few days.”
“He was a gentleman.” I said, although technically it was a lie.
“I wouldn’t want him to be a gentleman.” She licked her lips. “You missed out.”
“Yeah, I guess...” I shrugged.
I didn’t miss out on anything—I had every inch of him inside of me.
She had no idea what it was really like at that cabin—nobody did except for the two of us that spent time there. The chill of winter was in the air and the cold made me think of him. I had thought time would separate me from those feelings, but it hadn’t done anything to pause the longing I felt when he crossed my mind. When he entered my thoughts, my heart shuttered. When the thoughts got a little hotter, I got so wet and excited I had to satisfy myself just to maintain my sanity.
I drove in silence as I approached my apartment. I could have gone to the mountains with Amelia and the rest of my friends, but Wolf Creek almost felt like it occurred in another lifetime. I wasn’t sure I could see a mountain cabin and not go rushing off in the middle of the night
to find him. He might not be there to save me if I got lost again.
I parked in the back of the apartment building and walked around the corner to the front door. It would be a lonely night, a lonely winter break—a continuation of what had become a lonely life. When I got to the top floor, I heard a noise behind me. I turned around to see my neighbor, Paul, opening his door. He stopped when he saw me and gave me a slight nod.
“I know you keep telling me no, but the invitation is always open.” He folded his arms and leaned against the wall. “One night out wouldn’t kill you, you might even enjoy yourself.”
“You’re sweet.” I smiled. “I’m just not looking for that right now.”
“You can’t blame me for asking.” He turned and walked towards the elevator.
Paul wasn’t the first guy to ask me out, but he was the most persistent. The problem with all of them was they barely even compared to Shane. I couldn’t take them seriously when I was certain they didn’t know how to build a fire, much less protect me. They were nice enough, but there was just something missing in every one of them.
I didn’t feel like I could just settle for a lesser man. The fact it would be settling was the worst part. I had tasted something that couldn’t be replicated, which meant I was always going to compare them to the man who showed me what it meant to be a woman. I sat down on my couch and turned on the television, trying to find something decent to watch.