Bile rose to my throat, and tears swam in my eyes at the thought of Luna not being in this world. I did that? I made her not want to live? I leaned against the truck and gripped the edge for dear life as I let out a guttural, painful roar. I couldn’t believe that I let it get that bad. Jesus Christ, what did I do?
“Me. I was there, Easton. I was there through all of her pain in high school. You ruined her. The fact that she showed up to school every day while people bullied her to the ground, doused her with hate, and death threats, that took courage. You’d never understand her pain because you caused it, you didn’t live it, so don’t expect this road to be easy. You caused emotional, psychological scars on that beautiful heart of hers. I’m serious about you walking to work. I’m too pissed to even look at you.” He jumped off the bed of the truck and landed on the parking lot with a solid thud.
I held my bag to my chest as he got into the truck and slammed the driver’s side door, then wasted no time pulling out of the parking lot, tires burning rubber on the asphalt. Smoke clouded my vision, and I coughed, then waved my hand in front of my face to clear it, but it didn’t work. The fumes made my eyes water. I took a step back to get away from the suffocating smell, and my eyes stayed glued to the Dodge screaming out of the parking lot.
He really left me.
Damn it; I felt like I constantly screwed up.
I tossed my bag over my shoulder, exhaled, and got to walking out of the parking lot to get to the fire station. Luckily, it wasn’t that far, probably around a mile, or two, and since I had plenty of time to get there, I knew I wouldn’t be late.
The mist of rain dropped lightly from the sky, like feathers drifting in a soft motion through the air. It cooled my face and coated my fleece jacket in small beads. I was thankful that it wasn’t pouring because making the hike to work would really suck soaking wet.
As I put one foot in front of the other and made my way down the only main road in town, Ethan’s words pierced my mind over and over again.
She almost killed herself.
I brought my fist up and rubbed the ache in my chest. I hadn’t known it had gotten that bad. Sure, I heard people whispering to one another in the hallway, and every now and then, people would approach me about what really happened, and I always said the same thing.
We fucked, she got pregnant and didn’t want to keep it.
I slowly fed the lies, and people got the affirmation they needed to ruin her life.
I just couldn’t believe I didn’t see what it was doing to her. Was I really that blind? Why didn’t I care more? Why didn’t I notice? I was selfish, conceited, a horrible teenage boy, and those aren’t excuses for what I did, but I was a man now. I regretted everything. I had grown as a person, and the person I was now didn’t want to accept the horrible thing I did in the past.
Out of habit, I rubbed my hand over my mouth, something I tended to do when I was stressed. No matter how many scenarios I thought of to make things right with Luna, how the hell could I get her to truly forgive me when I drove her to the edge of darkness?
That fucking hurt me so much, as it should.
I still wouldn’t give up, even if I should, she was worth the effort, she always had been, and now I had to prove to her that I was worthy of her now.
“Where are you going there, Easton?” a familiar voice called out, piercing through my daze as I walked.
I glanced over at my fellow firefighter Vincent who was currently outside on a smoke break. He had a grin on his face as he wrapped his lips around the end of the cigarette.
Shit. I had completely walked by the fire station and probably would have kept walking if Vincent hadn’t stopped me. Man, I needed to get my head on straight for this shift. I highly doubted that would happen.
“Sorry, lost in thought,” I said, jogging over to the bay doors that were open, showing the shiny red fire trucks. I had always wanted to be a firefighter ever since I was a little kid. Something about those bi
g red trucks made me want to fight fires, and here I was, living my dream. It didn’t get better than that.
“Does it have anything to do with Luna Nightingale being back in town?” he asked, flicking the butt of his cigarette on the wet ground, then he stomped it flat with his foot.
Damn, I hated how fast word traveled in this town.
“Or maybe the little incident at Lowe’s?” He had a teasing smirk tilting his lips.
“How the hell do you already know about that?” I asked with annoyance, pushing by him to get inside the station. The thud of my boots resounded off the walls as I stomped through the area. A few guys turned to look at me, and I knew by the look in their eyes they wanted to give me shit too, but then they saw Vincent behind me and kept their mouths shut and continued playing cards.
“Well, Sally, my ex, her best friend, Carey, works there, and Carey saw you declaring your love or some shit to Luna.”
And of course the entire town knows now. “Yeah? So? What about it?” I tossed my bag on the bed and plopped down on it and held my head in my hands as I tried to calm down. “Can you just not with your shit today, Vincent?”
“I don’t get it,” he said, propping himself up in the middle of the doorway by leaning against the trim with his shoulder. “You hated her in high school because she—”
I stood up so fast I barely had time to think. I gripped the front of his shirt with both of my fists and shoved him across the hall until I slammed him against the wall and lifted him up so his toes were barely on the ground. “Let me tell you one thing, right now, and all of you assholes better listen up.” I leaned in and bared my teeth. “That never happened. I spread that rumor. She was never pregnant.”
“Right,” he snorted. “Is that what she told you?”