Wrong. He picked her. He’s way out of your league. You’re fooling yourself if you think there’s a future for both of you. Leave now before he leaves you. Leave him before he hurts you.
Do you really think he’s going to stay with you when you can’t even give him what he wants? Do you think Beatrice-Rose would hesitate to give him what he wants?
Stop it! I shook my head and began attacking the stove top.
All men lie. All men cheat. Just look at your father.
No.
You’re pathetic. Look at yourself, cleaning his apartment when he’s with another girl. Pining for him like a lovesick fool. Just like your mom.
I’m nothing like my mom.
Run. Isn’t that what you’re good at? Running away?
No, no, no. I was going to try. I had told Caleb I would. I would trust him, believe him. He was nothing like my father. He would not cheat on me. Hadn’t he proved himself enough?
Suddenly I had to get out of here—had to clear my thoughts.
When I stepped out of the building, the late-evening air was cool and damp. It felt like it was going to rain, but I just couldn’t stay inside. Maybe I should get a phone now—an honest-to-goodness smartphone with a two-year plan like Kara said. I was long overdue for one. I decided to head to the nearby mall.
How long is he going to stay at Beatrice-Rose’s?
I would not think about it anymore. He’d be back soon enough. I didn’t leave him a note. If he came back before me, I’d let him worry. He deserved it.
So this is what being in a relationship is like, I thought as I walked inside the mall, heading over to one of the cell phone shops. It only took me half an hour to select a phone, choose my plan, and set it up. I had a bit of savings now from working at Kara’s.
Was Caleb home yet?
If he was, I wanted him to wait for me a little longer, so I went window-shopping. I knew it was petty, but I didn’t like how I’d felt when he left with Beatrice-Rose. I also didn’t like how pathetic and whiny I sounded in my head. Was I punishing myself or him by not going home yet?
Suddenly, I stopped in my tracks and stared. In a shop display window, I spotted a miniature key chain of a stack of pancakes with whipped cream and strawberries on top. Caleb would get a kick out of it. Feeling giddy, I entered the store and homed in on my prize. I lifted the key chain and checked the price. Not too expensive. Grinning, I bought the key chain and had it boxed and wrapped.
I was changing, I thought, as I stepped out of the mall and into the rain. I was opening up more because of Caleb. He made me feel safe.
People started to run inside buildings, seeking shelter from the wet. Caleb said he used to play in the rain when he was a kid. To protect them, I wrapped the gift and my new phone securely in the plastic bag and stuffed it in my jacket pocket. I decided to walk and let the rain drench me. I wished he was here.
The rain washing over me made me feel calm, but something was off. My skin prickled, the hair on the back of my neck stood up, and I was just itching to look around me and sweep the area for any suspicious figure. It wouldn’t be the first time.
When Mom passed away, I moved into a rented room in a boarding house. The rent was cheap, and I had to share the room with two other people. There was a guy renting the room across from ours who had stalked me…
I slowed my steps, feeling uneasy. It felt like someone was following me. Damn it, I’d forgotten to bring my pocketknife. I was too distracted earlier to remember to bring it.
No use feeling sorry about that now, I thought, as my heart started to accelerate. I balled my hands into angry fists and got ready to attack. But when I looked back, there was no one behind me but a few pedestrians crossing the road and three people in the bus shelter.
It was getting dark fast. I should have called a taxi earlier, but now it was only two more blocks to Caleb’s building. I could make it. Besides, there were still people around. I could call for help if there was trouble.
I walked faster. When I heard footsteps getting closer behind me, I spun around and screamed as a dark figure brushed past me. Panicked, I tripped over my own feet at the stranger’s slight push and sprawled to the ground. I scraped my palms on the asphalt as I tried to catch myself.
The dark figure didn’t even look back.
False alarm, I thought, my heart in my throat as I slumped in relief. I glanced at my palms and saw they were bleeding. Damn it. I got up slowly and checked to make sure I wasn’t bleeding anywhere else. Other than my scratched palms, I was okay. I pulled my sleeves down, wiping the blood on them.
I squawked in alarm when I remembered Caleb’s present. Frantically, I reached into my jacket pocket, blowing out a relieved breath when I felt the box’s intact shape.
It didn’t escape me how ridiculous it was to be more concerned about a key chain than my expensive new phone. Maybe because it was a present for Caleb. I’d never given him one before.
When I spotted Caleb’s building, I quickly ran inside, hoping Caleb was home. I realized how much he’d always been there for me. How I never had to look for him because he was always there. But now that I’d arrived at his place and realized he wasn’t home, I felt anxious.