I felt the panic rising.
Should I pay, or should he, or should we split the bill? What if he brought us to an expensive restaurant? In the movies, a guy sometimes forgot his wallet and then the girl ended up paying. I didn’t think Caleb would stoop that low, but what if he really forgot his wallet? I had no money. Maybe we could volunteer to wash the dishes to pay for the food if that happened…
Ah. I was thinking too much again. I was just going to be myself. If Caleb had expectations, well, he’d better throw them out the window because—
Why do you always think the worst about me?
His words came back to me, and I suddenly felt sad. It wasn’t really Caleb’s fault. It was just how my brain worked. After what my dad had done to my mom, my default was to expect the worst of boys.
Opening up to a boy meant opening my heart and getting hurt. It meant opening up old wounds that I’d rather not think about. There was so much more that I hadn’t told Caleb.
I took deep, calming breaths.
He’s just a boy. You can handle him.
Handle Caleb? It felt more like he was handling me. Little flutters of panic were creeping in my chest again. I needed to stop thinking. I wanted to enjoy this night.
I was starting to hope that Caleb was different. Maybe I didn’t trust him yet, but I was starting to.
I gave myself another once-over in the mirror. The red dress fit my body like a second skin, accentuating all my curves. It wasn’t too short, but it showed a lot of leg, and the high heels gave the illusion that my legs were longer than they really were.
What if I fall on my face in these high heels? I groaned, disgusted with myself for all the evil thoughts in my head.
My eyes were shiny, and my cheeks had color in them—something that usually happened when Caleb was near. I looked…excited and nervous. Time to face the music. I sighed and exited my bedroom.
I held my breath when I spotted Caleb leaning against the wall across from me, waiting. He looked up, and our eyes met.
He looked dangerous silhouetted in shadow. The only light in the hallway came from the living room, highlighting the angles of his face.
His green eyes caressed me, sweeping from my hair to my toes, lingering on my eyes, my lips, lingering longer on my chest, my legs, then back up to my face again.
I felt…hot.
He wore a dark dinner jacket that fit his wide shoulders and broad back perfectly. He’d paired it with a dark-blue shirt, a skinny tie, and dark pants. His hair was combed back, and he must have used gel because the hair actually stayed in place.
What is it with Caleb in a suit? It was a huge turn-on for me. My hands tingled, itching to touch him. He looked so unreal.
“I could look at you all night,” he said, his voice lower than normal.
I could have said the same to him, but words had temporarily left me.
“This is our first real date. It feels different.” He stepped toward me until he was touching my face with both his hands. “This feels very real.”
Butterflies. All over my stomach.
I could smell his cologne and feel his body heat. He dipped his head to kiss me gently on the side of my mouth, but he didn’t pull back right away. He lingered, inhaling deeply. “God, I love the way you smell. What you do to me…”
I was shaking.
What this boy did to me I had never felt with anyone before.
Being with Caleb was like riding a roller coaster, when it started its slow, tortuous climb up, up, up, and the little jittery fingers of nervousness tickled my stomach. Then that moment when it reached the top, and I closed my eyes and held my breath for one second—knowing I was powerless to stop whatever was coming—and then I was plunging, falling, my stomach dropping to my feet, and I felt like my soul was about to detach from my body. And I laughed and screamed my lungs out until I was hoarse and my throat hurt.
And then when it was over, I wanted to do it again.
As Caleb kissed me, time stood still. His lips were soft and moist, slightly parted, teasing. I leaned up on my toes to catch more of his kiss. He smiled and licked my bottom lip and then sucked on it. I gasped, but he didn’t stop. His arms came around me, pressing me against his hard body. And then he lifted his head, staring at me, out of breath.
Caleb’s eyes were like deep pools of green. I could swim in them all night and not come up for air.