I shook my head again. “It’s okay. I don’t really want to discuss him anymore.”
“Did he…hurt you?”
I lowered my eyes, afraid to answer.
“Red?”
I looked up but didn’t say anything. Caleb nodded, acknowledging that he understood I wasn’t ready to talk about it, and why I was this way—guarded, stubborn, suspicious.
I wanted him to know me. But I was scared to tell him the ugly parts of my life, afraid they would scare him away. But something about Caleb made me feel that he was going to stay. So I started telling him about my mom and dad.
“I was making sandwiches after school one day, and I remember feeling very excited because my mom promised we would go to the movies. We both loved movies. That was how we bonded, you know? Movies. I wanted to watch a comedy, but she wanted a romance.”
I tried to turn away from him, but Caleb stopped me, pleading with his eyes to stay with him this way. I relented.
“So I was ready, even wrapped up some sandwiches and drinks to bring. I kept them in my backpack to sneak them in. We couldn’t afford the popcorn they sell at the movies, but I didn’t care about that. I wanted to spend time with my mom. We were walking to the theater, and then I saw my dad. He was in a car. And I was thinking, Why is he in a car? We don’t have a car…and then a woman got inside the car with him. And they kissed.
“My mom…” I choked. “My mom saw it, but she didn’t…didn’t do anything. But I saw how it hurt her. She…placed her fist on her chest, just like this,” I said, imitating the way I remembered her doing it. “And closed her eyes, just taking deep breaths. I waited for her to confront my dad… But then she just smiled and told me we should get going or we’d miss the beginning of the show.”
Caleb wrapped his arms around me, and I melted into him. I wasn’t going to cry. He smelled so good. So familiar.
“She passed away…my mom. I was adopted. I really don’t know who my biological parents are, but that doesn’t matter to me anymore. All I needed was my mom. She wasn’t perfect, but she tried her best. She never left him, and I didn’t understand that. I still don’t.”
Caleb started rubbing my back, and I let out a sigh of pleasure. It felt good. It felt really good.
“I understand,” he said quietly. “I don’t understand why my mom didn’t leave my dad either.” He held my shoulders and turned me so he could look into my eyes.
“I swear when we get married, we are never going to divorce. You’re it for me. Until I die. And that goes for you as well, okay?”
I stared at him in horror. My mouth opened, but nothing came out. If he was trying to distract me from my sad memories, he was succeeding.
He grinned at me and placed a finger on my chin to close my mouth.
“Breathe,” he said. “Everything is going to be okay.”
I sputtered, glaring at him. I started to get up, but he just wrapped me in his arms, holding me in place.
“What, you mad that I don’t have a ring with me?” His green eyes danced playfully, but there was a depth there, something vulnerable begging me not to walk away.
I blinked.
“What the hell, Caleb.” There were butterflies in my stomach, and I felt a little queasy.
He placed his chin on top of my head as he chuckled. “When I propose, I want to sweep you off your feet, so no, you are not getting a proposal from me today. Be patient.”
Was he joking? I didn’t even try to figure him out anymore. He was definitely joking. There was no way he could be serious about this.
I would not take him seriously.
“Haven’t you figured me out yet? I’m pretty simple, Red. You’re the one who thinks I’m complicated.”
Silence.
“How about I tell you a story,” he said.
I shook my head again, fighting a smile. “Okay.”
I pulled away and looked at him, ready to listen.