“Yes, but now there’s only half a pound.”
Diesel’s eyebrows raised a fraction of an inch. “Your face is greasy. Looks to me like you scarfed down the butter.”
“You said you wouldn’t let me eat everything!”
“You were sneaky. You ate in the pantry.”
I went back to the refrigerator for more butter, but there wasn’t any more.
“I’m out of butter,” I said to Diesel. “Now I can’t make biscuits.”
“Make half a batch,” Diesel said. “Or make something else.”
“We should have stopped at the store.”
“Put the cheese down,” Diesel said.
“Excuse me?”
“You were eating the cheese.”
I looked at the wedge of cheese in my hand. Sure enough, someone had eaten some of it.
“It has my cooties,” I said. “I might as well finish it.”
Diesel snatched the cheese from me. “No.”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “It’s mine.”
“Not anymore, it isn’t.”
I kicked at him, but he moved away.
“Behave yourself,” Diesel said.
“And if I don’t?” I asked him. “What then? Would you have to punish me? Would you put me over your knee?”
“Uh-oh,” Diesel said. “You’re sounding like Lenny.”
“Lizzy’s been a bad girl,” I said to him. “Lizzy needs a good spanking.”
“Lizzy needs to think about something else,” Diesel said.
“Like what? Handcuffs? Do you have handcuffs? How about this? How about you spank me while I eat an entire jar of peanut butter with my tongue while I’m handcuffed.” Even as I said this, I was feeling ridiculous, but I couldn’t stop the trash from coming out of my mouth. “I’m possessed,” I said to Diesel. “Lenny’s charm’s got me.”
“Yeah,” Diesel said. “This is so pathetic. This is the opportunity of a lifetime. Fantasy number seven and number eight on my bucket list. I’ve got a woman asking me to handcuff her and spank her . . . and I can’t bring myself to do it.”
“Maybe you should just lock me in a closet.”
Diesel wrapped an arm around me and kissed me on the top of my head. “I’d be afraid you’d eat your socks. I’m going to take you to the bakery so Clara and Glo can keep an eye on you while I find a safe place to stash the two charms.”
“I thought you didn’t want to do that.”
“I prefer keeping them on me, but obviously, that
’s not working for us.”
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN