“That’s so sad,” I said to Diesel. “He had a whole other life before his inheritance.”
“Focus,” Diesel said. “At the risk of seeming insensitive, I don’t care about his life then or now. I care about the charm. Anyway, he’s got the paddle used in Animal House. I’m jealous.”
Fortunately, the rest of the bins contained neatly folded men’s clothes, which was sad only in Lenny’s sometimes unfortunate choices in ties. I ripped through the bins in record time, and Diesel opened the first of the boxes.
“Are you okay up there?” he called to Leonard.
“I want a pizza.”
“We have three boxes to check out, and then it’s pizza time,” Diesel told him.
The boxes were filled with the sort of junk you acquire over a lifetime and can’t discard but no longer need. A baseball mitt, a broken stapler, a bunch of photos, Hardy Boys books, a commemorative chunk of the Berlin Wall, a cassette player, a bicycle chain, his high school yearbook, a kitty litter scooper.
I was making my way through the last box when there was a whoosh of air, the cellar door slammed shut, and the light went out, throwing us into utter blackness. Diesel moved flat against my back, his arm tight around my waist. There was thirty seconds of wind screaming on the other side of the door, and then all was quiet and the light blinked back on.
“What was th-th-that?” I asked, my heart knocking around in my chest.
Diesel took my hand and tugged me up the stairs. “That was Wulf.”
“Is he here?”
“Not anymore.” Diesel opened the cellar door and stepped into the kitchen. “And neither is Lenny.”
“Where’d they go? Are you sure Lenny isn’t here?” I looked around the kitchen. Nothing was out of place. No sign of struggle. No damage from the howling wind. “It sounded like a tornado blew through here. Why aren’t things tossed around?”
“I guess that wasn’t part of the show,” Diesel said.
“And you think it was Wulf?”
“I know it was Wulf. I can sense his presence.”
“How?”
“I know his scent. The air pressure changes. I get a cramp in my ass.”
I didn’t notice a change in the air pressure, and my nose was still stuffed with cellar smells. Fine by me. I didn’t want to add any more special skills to my Unmentionableness. I already had one too many. I could deal with baking Unmentionable cupcakes. I’d like to lose the empowered objects thing.
“Where did Wulf take Lenny?” I asked Diesel.
Diesel shrugged. “Someplace to talk.”
I had a really icky feeling in my stomach. Lenny was creepy, but he didn’t seem like a bad person, and I wasn’t happy about him being whisked away.
“Wulf won’t do the death claw on him, will he?”
“Not as long as he needs him,” Diesel said. “A dead man can’t tell you where the treasure is hidden. If we weren’t here, I’m sure Wulf would have stayed and had Steven Hatchet sweep the house.”
“So now what? Do we chase Wulf down and duke it out with him?”
“That would be the movie version. In the real-life version, we go through the rest of the house and look for the inheritance.”
I wasn’t crazy about either of the versions. I wanted to get back to my muffins.
“The muffins will wait,” Diesel said. “Let’s start upstairs.”
CHAPTER TWELVE
There were three bedrooms upstairs. I stepped into the master first, immediately turned to leave, and bumped into Diesel.