“Do I have to?” I pout, not wanting to leave this area. What if she opens the door and she wants to talk to me? I have to be here.
“Considering you know the woman— more than know— the woman staying in that room, especially with what she has been through, I think it makes sense that you tell us, so we aren’t taken by surprise by anything. I don’t know, like…” Sebastian ponders, tapping his chin as he profoundly thinks about how to save me.
Eye roll.
“Like getting slapped in the middle of the hallway or maybe we will find you two making out next—”
“—Don’t,” I point my finger into his face and crowd his body as the need to protect Heather surges through me. “Don’t talk like that. I don’t expect anything. I do not want that from her, not right now, and if not ever, fine. I came to the conclusion when I was seventeen that I wouldn’t have a chance with Heather Thomas. If I have to make do with living the rest of my life without her, then I’ll do that because that is what she wants. It’s always about what she wants.” I push by him and walk down the hall, passing a new picture on the wall of all of the team. Quinn was super pregnant in this picture. She looked miserable, poor thing. I turn my head over my shoulder, wanting to make sure I add one more thing so Sebastian doesn’t think I’m crazy. “Now, if she wants to kiss me, that’s another story,” I say calmly. “Obviously, I’d kiss her back, but only if that is what she wanted.”
Sebastian chuckles and kicks the wall to push himself off. “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”
I mock him, and I thought I hid the childish gesture, but I didn’t. He hits me on the back of the head, and I stick out my bottom lip in a tantrum.
“Toughen up. I doubt Jaxon will be as easy on you.”
“Psh, easy is my last name. I guarantee you I get a warning.”
“Fifty bucks,” he bets, sticking out his hand to seal the deal.
“One-hundred and a basket of chocolate muffins.”
He eyes me, debating if I’m serious or worth it.
I’m both.
I’m always worth it.
“Fine.”
Ha. Sucker.
While poking fun is a good time, I know what Sebastian is trying to do. He wants to take my mind off what just happened. I appreciate it. It’s needed. The woman I was in love with when I was a teenager is here, under this roof, and I finally have the ability to show her the kind of man I am.
When I saw Heather’s name on the news earlier as I drank my coffee and ate my muffin, I wondered if the woman here was her. When I saw her college graduate photo posted on the local news, I put two and two together. How many women are named Heather and have been missing for a few months?
I’m going to go out on a limb here and say not many.
When the thought hit me, I don’t remember getting up and running to the room I knew our guest was in. My heart dropped to my feet though, and terror, unlike anything I’ve ever experienced, paralyzed me. I didn’t want her to be behind that door, but I knew.
People always know; they just choose to listen to something other than their instincts. If everyone listened to the first warning sign their body told them, I’d bet anything they wouldn’t get into half the trouble or experience so much heartbreak. That’s what is so beautiful about being a human, that while we have logic, we are emotionally driven. Every thought, every decision comes from a feeling.
We like to deny that the human race is anything but emotional, but we are cold, violent, and mean, yet we can be loving and kind.
Everything is emotionally fueled, and when I stared at the door, my idea turned into fact. I just knew I had to get in that room, but when she opened the door, dread filled me because I hated my instincts were right.
The way she looked at me…
I want to experience that singular moment forever in my mind. The one where her eyes said she couldn’t believe she was seeing me, the relief, the flickering second of trust, and then she leaned on me for strength because someone drained hers.
I’ll be her strength whenever she wants me to be, wherever she wants me to be, and how she wants me to be. Any way she needs me, I am here. I don’t know what will happen with us. Probably nothing because she’s always been way too damn good for me, and I don’t deserve her, but I want to show her that I want to be.
I’ll be here. A year from now, ten years from now, whenever she is ready, I’ll be here waiting because Heather Thomas has been the only woman that has ever made me wonder what it would be like to fall in love. Not just with anyone.
With her.
When I get to the kitchen, I pause when all eyes turn on me. My foot is in the air, freezing, afraid to move or touch the ground, or my friends will charge at me. Sebastian chuckles as he walks by me.
“Do I have something on my face?” I ask, wiping my cheek. Have I been talking to the woman that I’ve been in love with since day one with fucking blueberry muffin crumbs on me? No one wanted to tell me? No one?