“That’s really not the reaction I was expecting,” I say smiling at him.
“Well I’m not an idiot. I know that my daughter drinks and you’re her friend. She just turned twenty-one, of course she’s going to buy you alcohol. I’d be an idiot if I thought otherwise.” Shaking his head and rubbing his hands up and down his face, as if to scrub away the anxiety and exhaustion from the day.
“Well, I guess that’s true,” I say laughing with him, and leaning my head sideways, resting it on his shoulder. “I love you,” I say. “It almost seems random, I know. Especially with the conversations we’re having, but I love you so much, and I don’t want to lose you,” I whisper, fighting back the tears.
“I don’t wanna lose you either,'' he whispers, turning his head to look at me. “I’m really upset that you didn’t tell me about your dad and your grandfather.” His eyes are watching me, full of sadness.
“Well, in my defense,” I add before he continues, “I didn’t know about my grandfather until way after the fact. Actually, I didn’t know much about my grandfather until a couple of hours ago.” I shrug, looking back at him.
“Oh, really?” he frowns, looking down to his shoes, moving a stick around in the mud.
“Yes, I think that my family has a lot of secrets, and I am only starting to learn them,”
“I see,” he mutters with a nod, drawing lines in the mud.
“I don’t want us to have any secrets, though.” Reaching over and brushing my hand on his arm. “I want us to be able to be honest with each other because I want to have a life together. I don’t wanna spend the rest of my life wondering what could’ve been between us.”
“What do you want for us, Lucy?” he asks, not looking at me. “Do you even know what you want in life?”
The words sting me because I am already afraid he thinks I am too immature for this relationship. I worry that our age gap is something that he will regret one day.
“I know what I want,” I swallow hard, forcing down the lump in my throat. “I want to spend my life with you. I want to be happy and get married. I want to have children someday,” I say trailing off and looking at the stars now. “I want us to be so fucking happy that we can’t imagine life without each other,” I gush, as I feel his eyes on my face.
Closing my eyes, my face turning high to the sky, I feel a tear trickle down my cheek. I want so much from him, it hurts.
Feeling a hand on my face, I slowly lower my face and turn into the palm, resting my cheek against the rough skin.
“Do you really truly want to spend the rest of your life with me?” he asks, his face a breath from mine.
“Yes, I really truly do,” I gasp, as the tears spill freely, flowing down my cheeks, dampening his palms.
Turning his body toward mine and facing me now. He reached his hands up, touching my face gently, then cupping my chin. His eyes are hard on mine as they search my face for signs of falsehood. He must have found what he was searching for.
Closing his eyes and leaning forward, I feel his full lips press against mine in a gentle caress. The simple meeting of lips sends my heart beating faster in my chest. Now, the tears I shed fall for different reasons. These tears that fill my eyes, are full of love and relief, knowing that I am loved too.
Sliding my hands up around his neck and pressing myself into his lap, I sigh into the comfort of his body.
“I love you Lucy Knight, I love you more than I have ever loved anyone. More than I ever thought myself capable of. I want to spend the rest of my life with you,” he says looking into my eyes, his own are full of promises that I desperately want to believe.
“Do you really?” I ask, repeating myself again and feeling foolish.
“Yes,” he says with a laugh, leaning forward and kissing me again. “I can’t imagine my life without you, and I don’t ever want to be anywhere without you.
My heart swells in my chest, and I can’t believe he feels the same way, especially after all that we went through together in such a short amount of time.
Looking up at him, I can’t help but feel an immense sense of relief. The evening had gone so differently than expected.
“Tell me what the future holds,'' I say, desperately wishing to know how he sees me in our life together.
“I see,” he starts, “you and I are blissfully happy. We are married with two children, and we spend our days together fishing and hiking while we chase our children, keeping them safe, but also teaching them the importance of having adventures.”
“I like that,'' I say, smiling at him. It amazes me that he can imagine a world where we are so interconnected, so happy. I wonder if this is how my parents felt when they were young, and my mother was alive.
“I like it too.” He grins. “I see us being the best parents we can possibly be, and I see us traveling,”
“Where will we go?” I wonder. There is so much of the world that I want to see, and I want to see it all with him.
“We can go wherever you want.” He leans down, and kisses my lips softly, lingering for a moment, enjoying the taste, before rising tall above me, and pulling me to my feet.