A strong set of arms wrap around my tiny frame, pulling me tight as a soft sob slips out of my lips.
“Shhh…,” Levi croons. “It’s okay.”
I shake my head against his broad chest and fight back the cries of frustration and hurt that are begging to be released.
“It’s not okay,” I choke out before grabbing onto his T-shirt and fisting the material in my hands. I’m mad at him. I’m mad at Conner. I’m mad at myself for being a coward for so many years. Why did I never tell him how I felt? Why did I wait for some screwed up situation like this before I finally took the leap and pursued something with him? Why did he betray me? Why does it not seem to matter anymore? I don’t even care about the stupid agreement. Yes, it was a mistake, but my relationship with Levi? How could that ever be wrong? All I want is Levi, and he’s right here. He’s within reach. Hell, he’s holding me, yet I still can’t get out of my head long enough to say, I love you, Levi. I freaking love you. I want you. I want you to want me. I want you to take the job, and I want you to live your happily-ever-after with me by your side. What the hell is stopping me? Why can’t I just tell him that?
I don’t know how long he holds me, or when Conner closed the door to his apartment to give us some privacy. But I do know that the sound of his steady heartbeat thrumming against my ear is the only thing that grounds me, and as I focus on the familiar rhythm, my frantic breathing evens out, and my tears slowly cease.
“I’m sorry, Charlie,” Levi murmurs. “I swear, I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’ve been trying to call—”
“I know,” I interrupt him. “I wasn’t ready.”
He tightens his hold around me. “I know. And even with a few nights of sleep to reset, I had a hunch you still wouldn’t be able to talk to me, but I had to try.” His voice is low, but there’s a soft note of teasing that brings a fresh wave of tears to my eyes.
Stupid Levi, knowing me all too well.
After a few seconds, he asks, “What are you doing here, Charlie?” The question is quiet and lacks the venom that Conner had used from only moments before.
“I ran into Alexandra,” I whisper, clinging to him. “She told me you didn’t take the job.”
There’s a beat of silence before he admits, “I couldn’t. Not when I knew how badly I screwed things up with you to get it.”
Taking a deep breath, I burrow further into his warm embrace, positive I’ll never have the courage to look him in the eye ever again. Still, I need answers. “Alexandra said you tried to break the deal off with Conner.”
“It doesn’t matter. I still agreed to the whole thing in the first place. That doesn’t make it any better. And then I was a coward and kept it from you. I’m so sorry, Charlie. I’d do anything to take it back, I swear.”
“I know.”
“Can you please forgive me?” he begs. “I know I don’t deser
ve it. I know that I’ll never be able to make it up to you, but—”
“I forgive you,” I whisper, my voice cracking at the end.
“I don’t deserve it,” he reiterates.
“Probably not,” I tease before nuzzling more comfortably into his chest. The warm cotton from his shirt, combined with his unique smell, acts like a ray of sunshine peeking through a haze of dark clouds. And I kind of hate how easily it breaks through my defenses.
Removing his hand from behind my waist, Levi presses his palm against the side of my face, encouraging me to look at him.
“Can I ask you something?” he murmurs.
Squeezing my eyes shut, I take a deep, shaky breath then pull away from the comfort of his chest and peek up at him.
“What?” I breathe.
“Did you mean it?”
“Mean what?”
“That you’ve loved me since you were a little kid?”
I could laugh it off. I could say I was joking or that I loved him like a childhood crush. I could say a lot of things. But I don’t. Because they wouldn’t be the truth, and I’m done locking up these feelings. That tactic never did me any good, anyway.
Instead, I dip my chin once in a single nod while holding his curious gaze. “I’ve always loved you. Conner was right. I’ve never given anyone a chance because someone already owned me. You just didn’t know it.”
Pressing his forehead against mine, he rumbles, “I’m sorry, babe. I screwed up and sabotaged us. You’re my everything, and I don’t know what I would do if I lost you. I love you, Charlie, and I’m sorry I took so long to figure it out.”