“I was just thinking about the lengths I would go to avoid you before we ran into each other at Get Baked. Now, here I am, on a date with you. It’s just…surreal.”
“It’s weird for me too. Levi wouldn’t even mention your name for years because he knew how much you hated me and didn’t want to rock the boat. I didn’t even know you were that Charlie until we reconnected. It’s crazy. I hope you don’t mind that we’re here, though. We could always go back to your place if you want. I just didn’t want to invite myself over and make you think I was assuming anything.”
We halt in the lobby of his building as he waits for me to decide. If we go back to my place, then the plan of making Levi jealous won’t come to fruition. But is that a bad thing? I peek over at Conner to see him patiently waiting for me to make a decision. No expectations. No assumptions. Just patiently waiting. Would it be a terrible idea to pursue this thing between us? I think I could really like Conner if I gave him a chance.
But am I ready to let go of the possibility of a chance with Levi for real? My heart starts to pound in my chest a million miles a minute as I battle going into a full-blown panic attack. It reminds me of when I was a little kid and couldn’t find my lucky softball glove before a big game.
Shit. I don’t know if I can do that.
I shake my head. “I kno
w you wouldn’t assume anything. But honestly, I kind of want to see Levi’s place. I haven’t been here in forever.”
“It’s my place too,” he teases, though I can see my comment ruffled his feathers.
“Good point. I want to see your place too. Especially when I’m not afraid that my childhood bully is going to jump out at me at any second.”
“Hey! Give me a little credit. I’m not the asshole that I was growing up, remember?”
“You’re right,” I admit, taking in his stubbled cheeks and kind eyes. “I definitely need to give you a little more credit.”
We make our way up to his apartment. When he opens the door, I find the lights out and the place empty. Disappointment hits me square in the chest, though I try not to let Conner see my reaction.
“What movie do you want to watch?”
I shrug. “I’m good with anything.”
He chooses The Notebook, and I want to laugh as soon as I see the title flash across the screen.
Grabbing a blanket, he takes a seat next to me and tosses it over us.
“What’s so funny?” he asks curiously.
“Nothing.” I try to cover my laugh with a cough, but he sees right through it.
“Tell me the truth.”
Shaking my head, I pull up the blanket to hide my smile. “I’ve just never seen this before.”
“Really?”
“Nope.”
“Well then, you’re in for a treat.”
A giggle slips out of me, my cheeks aching from grinning so hard while trying to hold back my amusement. “I’m sure I am.”
The screen lights up with a bunch of birds on a pretty lake, and Conner shifts beside me. Every inch of our sides is touching, from our shoulders down to our thighs. I don’t notice my leg bouncing until Conner rests his hand against it. It takes everything inside of me not to shy away from his touch. Not because he makes me that uncomfortable. I mean, I know he’d never do anything if I wasn’t okay with it. It’s more just because I feel guilty that it isn’t Levi.
And I kind of hate him for it. He’s kissed how many girls? Slept with how many girls? And I’ve been what? Saving myself for him? My mouth curls in disgust.
“Nervous?” Conner whispers.
Sucking my lips into my mouth, I shake my head.
Nope. I’m not nervous. Why would I be nervous?
“Levi said I should take things slow with you. That you haven’t dated much.”