I might love him.
She swallowed. He made her...belong. After so many years of trying to find a place in her small family that would never fit, and then trying to make one on her own, she’d found it with him. He accepted her for what she was. He cared for her, knowing everything about her. Even the worst of her past. As she knew his. Maybe he even...loved her?
She shook the thought away. It wouldn’t matter, if she couldn’t get herself out of this mess. As much as part of her wanted him to take over and save her, a far larger part, a far more important part, needed to see this through herself. Paulinus was the man who’d killed her daughters, burned her lands, abducted her friend. Now he threatened her again?
This, she would deal with. Then, maybe, she could make things work with Cadan.
“This is awful,” Diana said. All the risks she thought she would face had just doubled.
Cadan squeezed her close to his side. “There’s got to be another way for you to get to Erebus. Or leave him. The biggest threat to you right now is the demons he keeps sending out. We’ll keep killing them as they come and you’ll stay on earth.”
Sounds good to me. She had to kill herself to gain access to the Roman underworld in order to have her vengeance? Seriously?
“You know it’s not that simple. Vi is there. I can’t leave her.”
He nodded and heaved out a great sigh.
“Something has been bothering me about what Esha said.” It had been tickling her mind and she only now realized what it was. She reached out to lace his fingers in hers, wanting to feel his skin against hers as much as she could. The contact warmed something cold inside her.
“Aye?”
“She said the soul was a one-for-one deal. If he kills me, it will only give life to one soul, presumably his.”
“That’s right.”
“Well, what about his son? He said in the forest that he wants to avenge his son. But he would leave him there in Erebus?” Just thinking about the misty gloom of Erebus made her shiver.
“He’s a right bastard, Diana.”
She thought about her daughters. “Yes. But not about his son. There’s no way he’d leave Maximus there.”
She wouldn’t have left her daughters in the misty gloom and misery of Erebus. She’d have done anything to get them out. Cadan squeezed her hand as though he knew her dark musings.
“So what do you think he’s planning, then?”
“Well, either he’s got something else up his sleeve, or he’s only planning to save his son. Because he can’t use Vi’s soul, right?”
“Aye. She had nothing to do with his death and putting him in Erebus. Yours is the only soul that has the power to free them, and maybe you’re right. He’ll use it for his son.”
That was something she could understand, empathize with. But what could his other options be? What could her other options be? With something—no, someone—like Cadan to fight for, she couldn’t come out of this battle on the losing side. Especially not with Vi’s life on the line. She had to believe there was a way out.
“Cadan, I need to see Andrasta. I’m going to ask Esha to send me south.”
“I just got you back. Doona be runnin’ away from me now.”
“I’ve got to see her—she’s my patron goddess. I called her to me once before. It was the night before the battle. Right before you abducted me.” She turned her head in time to see him grimace. “I have to ask her what’s to become of me. And she might have ideas.”
“All right. What do you need?”
“A hare. And I need to go alone.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
Warren leaned against the kitchen counter in Esha’s flat, trying to keep his eyes off her where she stood talking to Cadan. They’d sent Diana through Esha’s portal just moments ago and she would be returning here once her mission was complete.
In the meantime, he’d be staying here with Esha to await her return. Memories of their last encounter and the dreams that she haunted had kept him awake at night.
Gods knew he’d tried to ignore her these last ten years, but with her appearance in his office last week, now he couldn’t stop noticing her. He’d suggested her addition to the Praesidium because it was a wise tactical move for the organization. But it wasn’t something that he should have done for his own sake.