“I don’t believe that,” she said.
“Well, you should.” My voice was hard. “For some insane reason, you believe that I’m a good person. But there are parts of me that you do not know.”
She scowled. “It feels like you're giving up.”
“I’m not. If there is a way to stop this, I’ll find it.” Until I’d met Carrow, I might not have even fought my fate.
Bloody hell, I was lying to myself. Of course I’d have fought it. I was an animal and always had been. Going easily into that good night would never be in my nature, even if I didn’t much like my present.
With Carrow, I very much liked my present.
More than liked it, in fact. Going to hell after finding her? It’d be worse than torture.
“I’ll be leaving.” The Oracle drifted away, becoming more transparent.
“If you discover anything, let me know,” I said. “Anything at all.”
She nodded and disappeared.
Carrow stared at me, her face white. “Why are you being so stubborn?”
I moved toward her, unable to help myself. Gently, I gripped her arms. “You don’t understand the thing inside me. The monster that I truly am.”
“You have control.”
“I do, yes. Until I taste your blood. Last time, it took everything I had to stop. And now that the beast senses our end…it will fight harder.”
“You speak of it as if it’s not yourself.”
“I shouldn’t. Because it is me.” I shook my head, images floating in front of my mind. “The things I did in my past…”
“That was a long time ago. Hundreds of years ago, when you were still a victim of the blood lust that takes new vampires.”
“It is no excuse. And the beast…that’s my way of thinking of the actions as not my own. Yet they were.”
“You’re different now.”
“Maybe, but not different enough.” My gaze traced her features. I wanted to kiss her. Desperately. “You should go.”
“No.”
“It’s safer.” I drew her scent into my lungs, unable to help myself. “Aren’t you afraid?”
“Never.” Sadness flickered in her eyes. “Our plan to not fall for each other was pointless.”
“Fate doesn’t care about our plans, I’m afraid. This wheel is already turning and will continue to turn.”
“Then it doesn’t matter what we do.” She leaned up and kissed me. Wrapping her arms around my neck, she pressed against me. Her form was long and lean, softness and strength.
It was the best damned thing I’d ever felt.
I groaned, unable to help myself, and took her in my arms, kissing her as if my life depended on it, careful to keep my fangs in check. I couldn’t taste even a drop of her blood, not with the beast ready to rise at the slightest notice.
“I want you,” she moaned, moving her lips to my neck. She kissed a path down the skin there, sending fire flicking through my veins with every press of her lips.
I tilted my head, giving her better access. When her tongue swiped across my skin, warm and hot, a shudder ran through me.
It’d been years since I’d felt anything this good. Since I’d wanted anything like this.