Prologue
Foxy
Five years ago
We’re kissing in the darkness of the forest, tucked away from everything that can hurt us. Nobody knows this is our secret place: the special spot where we come to be alone. When we’re here, nothing else matters.
Not work.
Not friends.
Not relatives.
No small-town drama.
Nothing.
Here, it’s just me and Brendan. The two of us can do anything when we’re locked in each other’s arms. We can conquer the world when we’re here alone, if only in our hearts. In this place, Brendan makes me feel safe and perfect, and I know that I do just the same for him. Our special place is like a haven from the rest of the world.
This is the place where our dreams come alive.
And tonight, this is the place where our dreams come to die.
This is the night that I’m saying goodbye to him.
This is the very last night for the two of us, and he has no idea. He doesn’t know that I’m about to give him his freedom, that I’m about to let him soar. He doesn’t have any clue that I’m about to let him go because that’s what’s best for him. I love him so much, but being with me? Well, I’m holding him back. What’s worse? I know it.
Part of me wishes things could be different, but I know the truth about Brendan. I know that he wants to go off and have some magical career. I know that he wants to leave Claw Valley. I know that he has big dreams, and I know that I’m holding him back from being able to live his very best life, from being able to do all of those things that he needs to do.
So I’m going to say goodbye to him for his own good.
Even if I thought we could do the long-distance thing while he goes off to graduate school, there’s no way his family would approve of us staying together. We all know that I’d be a burden to him, and I hate that. It’s horrible to know that the reason he can’t succeed is me.
I don’t want that.
This guy deserves to succeed. He deserves to be with someone who supports him and loves him and encourages him, and he deserves to be with someone who takes care of him. He deserves to be with someone perfect: someone who makes him feel complete.
So I kiss him a little more deeply knowing that in just a few minutes, it’s all going to be over.
His mother made it clear I’m not to tell him about her involvement. After all, if Brendan thinks she interfered in our relationship, it’ll hold him back. He won’t want to go to grad school, and that’s where everyone wants him to be. He’s supposed to go off and study business and learn how to make money because at the end of the day, that’s what makes the world go ‘round.
“I love you,” he whispers, and the words almost make me cry.
I’m going to miss hearing him say this to me.
I’m going to miss it more than anything else.
“I love you, too,” I manage to choke out the words, and he’s so turned on right now that he doesn’t even notice how much it’s completely killing me.
He kisses me over and over again, and in the darkness of the caves, we make love to each other like it’s not the last time. We kiss each other, teasing one another like this is what we were made for, and part of me believes that it is.
When it’s over, we hold each other for a long time. I put off the inevitable as long as I can, but finally, I realize that I’m just stalling. Waiting isn’t going to make this any easier.
“I need to go,” I tell him. I stand up, totally naked. We shifted before we came here. There are no clothes in this place. We came in our animal forms, the way that we always do. That’s how we’re able to get here unnoticed. Nobody looks twice at a couple of creatures jaunting around the forest. They definitely don’t look twice at a little fox like me.
“What’s the rush?” He asks, stretching out lazily. I look at him closely, taking him in. I don’t want to forget a single thing about what I’m seeing. His hair is messy, and his face looks calm and relaxed. He looks like he doesn’t have a care in the world. Brendan smiles, staring at me like he can’t believe how lucky we are to have found each other at such a young age.
Then I take a deep breath, and I say the words his mother made me promise to say.
“Brendan, we need to take a break.”
Suddenly, there’s silence in the cave. While it was quiet before, this is something else. I can’t even hear Brendan breathing anymore. He’s holding his breath. He’s going to faint if he’s not careful. I say the rest of the words in a rush. Somehow, I manage to spit out the excuses.