“What are you doing up?” he questions, placing the book face down on the table but still open to mark his place.
“I was hungry.” I shrug not looking at him, because my eyes have locked onto the steaming pan on the stove.
Emmett chuckles before he stands up, and moving over to the pan, he removes it from the heat.
“I was about to come in with a plate of food to save you getting up,” he says, tipping three chocolate chip pancakes onto a white plate and bringing them over to the table.
I’m frozen in place, staring at him as he moves around the kitchen. I don’t know what to say to him. I ought to confront him, but the white tendrils of steam rising from the food brings the scent of my favorite breakfast into the air, and it’s all I can do not to grab the plate and ravage the food like a starving animal.
I slowly make my way over to the table and sink into one of the wooden chairs before pulling the pancakes toward me. Without hesitation I dig in, not caring that they are burning my tongue while I chew them ravenously. A small clunk next to me draws my attention to the steaming-hot mug of coffee that has now been placed on the table.
“Slow down, you’ll make yourself sick,” Emmett chastises. I throw him a filthy look, and he has the grace to actually look somewhat apologetic.
I swallow and glare at him before saying firmly, “Don’t you dare try to father me. You lost any right to do that first of all when you let your brother raise me, and then again last night when you hunted me down and fucked me in the woods like a wild animal.”
I can feel my cheeks heat at my own words, so I refocus on my food, hoping he hasn’t noticed the flush I’m sure is coloring my face right now. I glance at him out of the corner of my eye in time to see the corners of his mouth twitch with a smile. Damn. I can’t have managed to hide my reaction to him as well as I’d hoped.
I fidget in my seat, clenching my ass, as the memory of Emmett taking me from behind last night, sweeps through my mind and ignites my body. I grab the mug of coffee and bring it to my lips, blowing softly to cool it down before taking a mouthful.
“I may not have the right to the title of Dad, but it doesn’t change or remove the connection we have. You may be my own flesh and blood, but you’re also so much more than that to me, Kade. I knew from the moment I laid eyes on you that you belonged to me, and damn it, a little thing like being related isn’t going to stop me,” Emmett rumbles, glowering at me.
I drain the mug of coffee, and slamming it back down on the table, the dregs splash tiny droplets onto the wooden surface from the force.
“Little thing? Being related isn't a little thing. It’s huge, and it’s wrong. It’s so fucking wrong I can’t even wrap my head around it. You also lied and led me to believe there was nothing more between us than a friendly connection. I was slowly falling in love with you. It’s sick, Emmett,” I hiss. He opens his mouth to interrupt, but I continue before he can respond, “Being in love with my biological father is wrong on so many levels. But do you want to know what the worst part about this is? I don’t even know how to stop myself from having these emotions.”
I look up at him, and when I meet the steady gaze he’s leveling back at me, my vision blurs with unshed tears. My chest aches, and I want these feelings to stop because I can’t stand how conflicted he makes me feel inside.
A few tears slip free, and my voice cracks along with my heart, “How can I make it stop?”
Chapter 12
Emmett
Kade’s pain cuts into me, but I’m just as bound to him as he is to me. I was caught up in him from the moment I first laid eyes on him. I did everything I could to make him mine, and a small part of me regrets what I did to get him here, but the most dominant part of me knows I’ll never be able to let him go.
Apart from when I initially found out about Ellis being pregnant, I’ve never really had fatherly feelings toward him. We were never given the chance to develop that kind of bond. I could’ve walked away or tried to do the right thing by him. Truthfully, I never expected his feelings to develop in the way they have when I took him, but I’m not sorry about it.
In a messed up way, I’m happy to hear that he’s feeling as tortured about this as I am, and that he’s falling for me. This is a huge clusterfuck, but it’s also the best feeling in the world because I’m not alone in this mess. Our relationship is completely immoral and insane on every level; at the same time, it couldn’t feel any more right.
“Kade, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have lied to you. But when you’ve been shunned, blackmailed, and had your life left in tatters for loving the wrong person, you want to stop caring about what everyone else thinks because it hurts too fucking much. My whole world was shattered when Preston turned his back on me. Why should loving someone be defined by what blood runs in their veins? I didn’t fall for you, because you were my kid, and it was never about my feelings for Preston or your mom. It was all about you.”
Kade remains silent and avoids my eyes. The hand he still has wrapped around his empty coffee mug is shaking, and his whole body is trembling. I don’t know what he’s thinking, and it feels like my veins are filled with lead as I wait for him to speak. He may decide he wants to leave, and contemplating that possibility makes my heart want to stop beating. I don’t know if I have it in me to let him go, and even if I did, how could I let him return to Ellis when she can’t even take care of herself?
“I don’t know what to think, Emmett. How can we continue this with the full knowledge that we’re father and son?” he says finally.
My heart jumps in my chest because he’s not denying the possibility of us having a relationship. Maybe he’s willing to give this a chance. I walk toward him taking slow, measured steps, and he looks up at me, facing me head on. He doesn’t back away from me, and even though there’s so much uncertainty in his eyes, there's also a flicker in them that sets my soul ablaze.
Kade gets out of his chair, and leaning with his back against the table, he watches me as I close the distance between us. I pull him into my arms, and he wraps his own around me, and whi
le we stand there holding each other, he buries his head in my chest.
“I’m scared of how much I feel,” he mumbles, and I give him a reassuring squeeze.
“Me too,” I tell him honestly.
Unable to hold myself back, I crash my lips down on his. Kade gives as good as he gets, and our mouths and tongues clash together.
Bang! The sound vaguely registers, but I’m so used to the noise branches make when they hit the cabin during the storms that I don’t pay any attention to it. When Kade attempts to break the kiss, I deepen it, pushing him against the table as I move even closer to him.