Emmett
It was my brother’s funeral this morning. Ellis, his widow, was so out of it she barely even noticed a moment of the service. A young man who couldn’t have been more than seventeen clung to her thin arm throughout the proceedings. I never got to see his face properly; he didn’t turn around the entire time.
When the funeral director contacted me to arrange the details for Preston’s funeral, I was surprised. But then I heard what kind of state Ellis was in, and I realized exactly why. Today, however, it isn’t her who’s captured my attention, it’s the young man accompanying her. I’ve found my eyes wandering back to him more than once during the day. Something about him makes my stomach twist with unease and awakens a fierce longing I’ve never felt before. Not even his mother ignited such a desperate craving in me.
Is it wrong of me to be so intrigued by him? Especially when my fascination isn’t completely platonic. He’s far too young, and at thirty-six I’m far too old to entertain such carnal thoughts about him. Not only that but now I have Ellis watching my every move, and the unforgotten threat from a past I’ll never escape still holding me back. I feel the skin stretch taut over my knuckles as I tightly clench my fists in my pockets, angry at myself for my intense curiosity and interest in the unattainable.
“Emmett?” a rough feminine voice slurs behind me, accompanied by a bony hand touching my arm.
I spin slowly around to meet the face of the woman I haven’t set eyes on since university…the woman I once loved. Her eyes are dull and her skin is sallow; she’s not doing well.
“Ellis, how are you?” I inquire politely, but the question is rhetorical and insincere.
She shrugs before turning to eye up the guests drinking, eating, and somberly mingling.
“What are you doing here, Emmett?” she asks, turning her attention back to me.
Her eyes narrow while she waits for me to answer, and I’m not sure if she’s struggling to see me through the haze of whatever concoction she took this morning, or whether she’s actually attempting to be serious.
“Preston was my brother. I wasn’t going to miss his funeral. Regardless of how our relationship deteriorated toward the end of his life, I would’ve come anyway. Especially as I paid for it,” I reply, sighing heavily and wishing I could have a drink. I could’ve come by cab instead of driving here myself, but I don’t trust others. I prefer to be able to leave when I choose without having to wait.
Ellis turns away, and as she does, she staggers and nearly falls. I reach out to steady her, but she moves past me, using the wall to regain her stability. All the while she mutters about assholes and being glad she picked the right brother instead of the one who couldn’t be trusted. I roll my eyes and shake my head because it was her who ran off with my brother while pregnant with my child.
When Preston threatened to spill my darkest secret if I interfered in their lives or went anywhere near ‘their’ child, I didn’t have a choice but to leave. Even though there was no way the baby was his. I’d heard from my parents a few months later about the birth of their grandson, and it caused such an ache inside me. I knew I couldn’t do a thing about it, though, so I never tried. I wanted to be in his life, but I was forced to become a nameless stranger. I wasn’t even allowed to be an uncle or distant relative. I’ve been
absent for his entire life, but Preston’s gone, and I’m here now, wanting to get to know him.
“Stay away from Kade. He’s none of your concern,” Ellis says; all of a sudden she sounds coherent, having noticed where my gaze is lingering.
“I want to meet him,” I growl, snapping my eyes to hers.
“No. Unless you want me to follow through with Preston’s threat, then you’ll stay well away from him,” she warns before shambling off, her hand sliding along the wall as she uses it to support herself.
I’m left standing there watching her depart, knowing she can’t get rid of me that easily anymore. Once again my eyes land on the young man who has caught my attention. Kade lifts his head, and his sorrowful expression tugs at my heart as he scans the faces in the room. Before I can avoid him catching me staring, our eyes meet, and I’m frozen in place when hazel irises lock with mine. My breath escapes in a whoosh, and I quickly suck in a lungful of air before averting my gaze. Shit.
My heart begins to pound, and I clench my jaw in anger. If Preston wasn’t already dead, I’d murder him myself for keeping me away from my son. Not wanting to cause a scene at my brother’s wake, however, I force my feet to start moving in the direction of an exit.
I’ve just located the way out when a voice behind me stops me in my tracks.
“Who are you? How did you know my dad?”
Inwardly I bristle at the question, but I force myself to remain calm.
“My name’s Emmett. I’ve known Preston my whole life and your mom since I was a little older than you are now. I’m an old family friend,” I answer vaguely, not wanting to get into the complicated details of exactly how I know his mom and ‘dad’.
“I don’t know anyone here,” he chimes in, sounding embarrassed.
His cheeks flush red in stark contrast to his white-blond hair, which hangs just below his jawline. I’m taken aback by the shock of possessiveness flooding through my system, and I can’t stop myself leaning forward to brush the strands from his eyes.
“Look, Kade. I’m just heading out, but if you ever need anything, give me a call,” I offer, grabbing a piece of paper and a pen from a small table near the front door and scribbling down my phone number.
He looks down at the paper and then back up to me with a curious expression.
“It’s always good to have someone to turn to,” I tell him simply.
Making a hasty departure from the house, I grit my teeth as I fight the onslaught of painful memories. While certain in the knowledge of whom I’ve left behind, I wasn’t about to reveal everything during our first conversation. I’ll let his mother tell her lies, for now.
But, I will be coming back to claim him.