A Family Affair: An Extreme Taboo Anthology - Page 39

Then, three missed calls.

Mom: I’m coming to get you!

No! I'm sorry. I put my phone on silent by accident. I am exhausted and am just going to spend the night.

Mom: I don’t know how I feel about that, Brianna.

Mom, I promise I’ll be safe. Bash and Chelsea would never let anything bad happen to me.

Ten minutes later.

Mom: Call me as soon as you wake up.

Goodnight, mom.

Mom: Goodnight, Brianna

I let go of the breath that I was holding, and my shoulders relax. I look at my phone one more time. I re-read one of the messages that Bash sent.

Bash and Chelsea will never let anything happen to me.

My mom was talking about me trying to kill myself again. But what Bash said in response was something entirely different. I look up, and I see him sitting on the sofa. Chelsea is next to him, perched on the sofa's arm and they are holding one another's hand in between them.

I try to keep the tears down, prevent them from pouring over, but I can't.

“I need you to explain to me how this,” I point my finger back and forth between the two of them, “could possibly work for you guys. How is it any different?”

I need them to tell me something that will make how I felt with Chelsea’s hands on me last night feel right.

“It’s different because we chose it. We weren’t forced into it,” Chelsea answers and I can tell that she is offended.

“I’m not going to lie, the thought of you guys having each other to deal with all of this, having someone who knows exactly what you’re going through, I’m jealous; crazy fucking jealous. But I am so confused. I want what you have, but the way you’re going about it, it’s sick.”

"Brianna, I love you, but you need to watch what you say to us, and how you say it. You don't have to like it or agree with it, but if you're going to act like this every time you’re around us,” Chelsea starts, “then I’m not sure that I want to be around you anymore.”

She begins crying as she stands up and leaves the room. Bash speaks up.

"You don't think that we know that? That we've tried staying away from one another? We denied our feelings for months, and we felt like we were dying every day that we were apart. Chelsea started cutting herself to try and feel anything other than the pain that she was in over what he put her through. If I remember correctly, you know exactly what that pain feels like.”

Bash gets up and follows Chelsea into the bedroom and, once again, I am all alone.

Fuck, he’s right.

I do know the pain that he's talking about. It's the same pain that I felt last year, and it's the same pain I felt last night. That I'm still feeling now. Only this time, I have Bash and Chelsea to help me through it. Right? Do I have them if I'm out here and they're in there? Part of me wants to follow them. Part of me is too scared to cross that line.

* * *

I don't know how long I sit there with my thoughts. My chest hurts, knowing that I caused them pain. My head is at war with my heart. I'm tired in every way possible; physically, mentally, but mostly emotionally. I've healed physically, each time that he's done this to me. I'll heal this time too. Mentally, I'm not in the best shape. I have more lows than highs, but in the past, the longer I’ve gone without being touched by him, the better it gets. Emotionally, I’ve been broken for twelve years. I have no idea how to start healing those wounds.

I pick up my phone and text my mom to let her know that I am going to go straight to work from here. I don’t have to work until later, but she doesn’t need to know that. That’s when I remember that I am scheduled to close again tonight and fear rushes through me.

Fuck.

Maybe I'll call out. There is no way that I'm going to be able to close by myself again tonight. Visions of last night flash through my head, and I curl up into a ball on the floor. The way he smelled, the look in his eyes, how dirty I felt with his hands all over me, with him inside of me.

I wonder if there will ever be a time when I won’t think about him. When he won’t wreak havoc in my head and consume my thoughts, both day and night.

As I pray for the thoughts to disappear, I begin to hear noises coming from the bedroom. I feel so out of place. I should leave. They don't want me here anymore anyway, but I can't bring myself to go. When I hear Chelsea moan I feel something deep inside of me that I can't ignore. Leaving my phone and purse on the floor, I stand, unsure that I want to find the cause of her moan, but already knowing what it's from. My feet start moving, and I can't stop them. I find myself at the doorway to the bedroom. I push the door open a little further than it already is and watch them.

Tags: Yolanda Olson Erotic
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