We remained standing side by side next to Mr Jones.
“Hey!” a girl suddenly shouted. “Aren’t you the girl in the video who was kissing Risk?”
My eyes sought out the girl who shouted and my eyes zeroed in on the woman everyone else was staring at. Frankie Fulton. I felt like I had been kicked in the chest at the very sight of her. I felt like the ground fell away from under my feet.
There she was. My Frankie.
She was staring directly at me with big wide eyes. A burst of warmth filled my body at the familiar sight of her. Happiness filled me to the brim. Just as I was about to jump down from the stage and walk right up to her to say hello, to hug her, to do something, I quickly found that I couldn’t do a fucking thing because Frankie suddenly turned and all but sprinted from the hall, leaving me to stare after her like a fucking idiot.
Hurt replaced the happiness that seeing her brought me and I wanted to crush that feeling and bury it away forever but I couldn’t. I was aware that everyone had looked from the exit to me and I plastered a smile onto my face just so no one could see how much Frankie’s reaction to me had hurt me. Mr Jones took everyone’s attention as he asked us questions about being home and retold some old stories of our times together. I laughed at the correct moments and answered questions when they were put to me, but mentally I was no longer present in the hall.
I couldn’t stop replaying Frankie’s rapid departure upon seeing me.
I didn’t even get a second to fully take in her appearance before she ran. I could see the bottom of the baby pink Mary Well’s uniform under the coat she wore, and her mess of unruly red hair was tied up into a pretty high ponytail, but that was as much as I could see. Her coat had been puffy, so I couldn’t tell if her body still looked the same or if it had changed over the years. I hated that I wanted to find out because I shouldn’t have given a fuck about Frankie just like she clearly didn’t give a fuck about me.
She wouldn’t have run like a bat out of hell at the first sight of me if she did.
On the outside, I was still smiling and laughing, but on the inside I was seething as the hurt I felt turned into anger and all I could think about when Frankie’s face popped into my head was, fuck her. If she wanted to act like she didn’t know me then fine, I didn’t give a shit. Fuck her. If she didn’t want to sit in the same room as me, what-fucking-ever. Fuck her. If she couldn’t spare me one fucking minute to say hello after nine poxy years then fine. Fuck her.
Bitterness filled me.
I held on to that emotion throughout the entire day, I couldn’t even shake it when me and the guys jammed with Mr Jones in our old music room, nor when we returned to May’s house later in the day. Frankie had taken over my mind. I couldn’t stop thinking about how she saw me then ran like I was some sort of virus that she couldn’t wait to be away from. It felt like a kick in the gut each time the scene rolled through my mind. I should have blocked her out, I should have forced her from my mind but I couldn’t. I had an incredible urge to see her up close. She was wearing her Mary Well’s uniform at the school so I knew where she would be.
Before I could think better of it, I asked the guys if they were hungry and only Angel said yes, so I drove us to Mary Well’s in a flashy car that our manager had rented for us. I hated it. It didn’t fit in with Southwold, it made us stand out. Angel was silent the entire drive, but when I parked the car and we both hopped out, he sighed out loud.
“Mary Well’s diner. She works here, doesn’t she?”
“Who?
“Don’t play stupid, it doesn’t suit you.”
Angel knew what I was doing just as much as I did.
“I want food. I’ve been craving one of Mary Well’s burgers for years. You can wait in the car if you want.”
I started for the entrance. Angel cursed then fell into step beside me.
“You’re gonna regret this, man,” he said as I reached for the door’s handle. “Don’t say some shit you can’t take back.”
I ignored his wise words because I wasn’t thinking. I didn’t want to listen to reason. I didn’t want to be the bigger man. For once, I just wanted to be an arsehole to make myself feel better. I wanted to see Frankie’s face and I wanted to hurt her just like she had hurt me earlier that day.