When I pulled into the driveway, though, I saw that his garage door was open, the light was on. He was probably in there working on his bike or something, and I tried to ignore the urge I had to run over there and see him.
The next morning, I slept late. It was Saturday, I didn’t have any plan for the day, and as I dozed, I was vaguely aware that I could faintly hear Cole and Declan outside. Their voices sort of infiltrated my dreams, though when I finally got up and looked out the window, his car was gone.
Of course I was wondering where he went, though I also felt a little bit of relief that he wasn’t there and maybe would be gone the whole day. It was such a strange paradox of feelings, wanting to see him yet not wanting to have to go through the awkwardness of an actual encounter. I hated that it was this way between us now, that something could go from being so wonderful to almost unbearable in the blink of an eye.
I was making coffee when I heard a knock at the door. I glanced outside again as I went to answer it; Cole’s driveway was still empty. So at least I knew it wasn’t him.
It was Ben.
“What are you doing here?” I asked.
“Way to make a guy feel welcome,” he said, though he had a smile on his face. “Are you busy? I wanted to talk for a minute, if you weren’t.”
“Come on in.” I stepped aside as he came in. His bike was leaning against the oak tree in the front yard. “You rode here?”
“Yeah.”
“Cole’s not home.”
“I can see that, but I’m not actually here to see him.”
I sighed. “Would you like some coffee?”
“Nah, I’m good. Thanks, though.” He went over and leaned against the counter. “Listen, Allie,” he said. “I normally wouldn’t get involved like this, because really, it’s not my business. I feel kind of funny coming here to talk to you about this anyway, but... I’ll just put it to you like this: Cole’s not doing so great. He’s going through the motions and everything, and if you asked him, he’d probably say that he was fine, but I’ve known the dude practically my whole life, and I can tell when there’s something off. And there’s definitely something off.”
I folded my arms across my chest. “Okay,” I said. “I’m not sure what it is you expect me to do with this information.”
“Uh, duh, Allie...you need to talk with him and reconcile. I’ve never seen the man happier than when he was with you.”
I felt simultaneously incredibly sad and very happy to hear him say that. Then I remembered that we weren’t together, and the sadness eclipsed any happiness.
“You probably should just stay out of it,” I said. “There’s not going to be any reconciliation; he made himself pretty clear. I’m not going to go and beg him to get back together with him. I’ve still got a little dignity left.”
“I don’t think you’d have to grovel or anything. I think if you just went over there and told him that you miss him and still want to be with him, then that’s all it would take.”
“But what if I don’t want to be with him?”
Ben regarded me, one eyebrow slightly raised. “I don’t believe you.”
“I don’t really care if you don’t believe me or not; the fact of the matter is Cole broke up with me, and I’ve been actively trying to get over it ever since. So you coming here out of the blue and telling me that I need to go talk to him and ask him to get back together is complete bullshit. In fact, if that’s the only reason why you’re here, then I think you should probably leave.” My voice had risen with each word, and by the time I finished talking, I was practically yelling at him, which I felt bad about. “I’m sorry,” I said. “I didn’t mean to yell at you like that.”
He waved me off. “It’s okay; I’m used to girls yelling at me.”
“You just have to understand that this whole thing has been really painful, and it’s not helping having you come by and telling me how happy Cole used to be when we were together. If that’s the case, why would he break up with me in the first place? Why wouldn’t he come over and ask me to get back together?”
“Because he can be stubborn and impulsive,” Ben said. “Sometimes at the same time. No one’s perfect. Cole’s pretty close, but everyone’s got to have their faults, right?”
“Of course,” I said. “I certainly have plenty of my own. I guess I just don’t understand why you’re coming over here to tell me this. What’s the point? He broke up with me, and I’m trying to get over it, which is a lot easier said than done.”
“I know it is,” Ben said. “It sucks, getting broken up with. Believe it or not, I have been broken up with a few times myself, and it’s not something that I particularly look forward to. Getting rejected by you was bad enough, and we weren’t even going out.” He smiled, though I was wondering how much of what he just said was actually true.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. But you guys shouldn’t have made a st
upid bet like that.”
“Ah, yes, the bet. Shit, that seems like years ago; hard to believe it was just the beginning of summer.”
“It does seem like a long time ago,” I said.