“Yeah, I’m sure it’s pretty damn hot, probably.” It absolutely was.
I didn’t know what I was freaking out about anyway. Heather and I had talked about sex and the guys we dated plenty. She’d been my best friend for years, for Christ’s sake. At this point, I should be able to tell her anything.
Something about whatever was going on between James and me made me want to keep it to myself. To keep him to myself. And I wasn’t entirely convinced that it was all about my father’s rules anymore, either.
“So, back to the point,” Heather said. “What did you decide?” She looked so hopeful; I couldn’t help but give her my brightest smile.
“I’m back in the game, baby!” I pumped my fist into the air. Heather launched herself at me and pulled me into what could only be described as a clumsy jump hug.
“Oh, honey! I’m so happy for you!” She finally released me. “And for me, but mostly for you. Are you sure about this? Doing this for your father?”
“I’m not doing it for him. I’m doing this for me. I’m sure about that now.” The best thing about it was that I really was sure I was doing it for the right reasons. It was truly the right thing for me.
Heather’s eyes welled up with unshed tears, and she blinked them away. Absolute joy shined back at me. “I’m just so happy for you, friend. I was so worried about you for a minute or so back there.”
Well, that was news to me. “Really? Why?”
“You seemed so unhappy. So lost. I didn’t want to push you, but you were made to do this. You’ve been the most passionate person since the day that I met you. Then all that shit went down with your father, and I was afraid it was going to push you away from the thing you loved most.”
My heart softened, and my resolve strengthened even more. It occurred to me that I’d never asked Heather for her honest opinion on what I should do. I should have. “It almost did, but I came around. The more I got back into it, the more I realized how much I missed it.”
James had been instrumental in getting me back into it, but I kept that bit of information to myself. Although I still couldn’t quite figure out why I would.
Heather nodded. “However it happened, I’m just happy that it did.”
“So, without any further ado, should we get to it?” The books called to me from my desk. I really did have a lot of catching up to do.
“Absolutely, let’s do it.”
For the next couple of hours, that was exactly what we did. It was easy to fall back into my old routine with Heather. We’d study by ourselves for a while. Then, we’d do a couple of case studies together from practice questions and make notes as we identified areas we needed to revisit.
We collapsed into giggles about some of the sets of facts the professors had come up with. We devised elaborate defense strategies that would never hold up in court.
As the lights in the library flickered on and the sun started setting on the horizon, we packed it up for the day. Studying with Heather that afternoon had energized me in a way that I’d been missing like a lost limb. I was buzzing with it as my phone chimed in my bag.
James smiled at me from the display. I had snapped the picture that first day that we’d been on the beach. He wore the confident smirk of a man who knew exactly how much the camera loved him.
I silenced the phone, not wanting to answer in front of Heather. When I looked back at her, she studied me with a curious expression on her face. “Who was that?”
“Just some guy that I’ve been talking to lately.” I played it cool, even though my heart raced as it always did when he called. My phone dinged with an incoming text, arousing her interest even further.
James: How are you still studying?? When you’re ready for a break, I happen to be a great distraction ;-)
That he was. I stashed my phone back in my bag. I would text him back later.
A deep flush spread on my cheeks, and Heather had taken an intense interest. “Oh my, you’ve been holding out on me. Haven’t you?”
“We’re just having fun. It’s nothing serious.” I wasn’t so sure that was entirely true anymore, though. Not for me, anyway. I had no idea what to think about what James might or might not be thinking about our situation.
“Judging by the way you just blushed, you took me up on my idea of getting a sexy guy to distract you while you figured things out. Aside from Mr. Harry Potter, that is.” Her eyes sparkled, and her grin spread wide across her face. “And it seems he successfully managed to get you out of that brain of yours.”
“Come on, Heather. Stop it, what are we? Sixteen?” I couldn’t hold back my laughter completely, though.
“Okay, okay.” She threw her hands up in mock surrender. “For the record, I’m really happy that you met someone who can make you blush like that.”
“The record shall reflect that you enjoy my embarrassment.”
“It’s not embarrassment though; not only that, anyway. At this point of our friendship, I have no idea why you would be embarrassed about this sort of stuff unless…wait. Is he like, really ugly? Or really stupid?” Amusement shone in her wide eyes.