“Yeah, in all my favorite colors, too. I’ll get changed. Are we going for a run?”
“Yep, just a short five miles or so,” I joked.
“How about I do one mile and then wait for you,” Ana said with a beautiful smile.
I really did love her smile. It felt like she lit the whole room up when she smiled and I felt powerful for doing or saying anything that would bring that happiness to her face.
“Just do what you can.”
“I used to run a lot before I came here. But I haven’t tried to run lately. Never felt like I wanted to collapse from exhaustion yet.”
“And you’ve already done that, so you’re ready to run now.”
“Yeah, pretty much.”
When we headed out for our run, the sun had just started to lighten up the sky. It was my favorite time of day, not quiet sunrise, but not nighttime either. I kept my pace slow and my eyes on Ana as we navigated the small trail that I had made through the forest leading away from my home.
“How ya feeling?” I asked as we started slowly up a hill.
“Surprisingly well. I’ve got some steam in me; we can pick up the pace if you’d like.”
She was a spunky one for sure. One minute collapsing because she was utterly not taking care of herself at all, then the very next day she’s running up a Georgian mountain and keeping up with me. I liked her grit. Ana wasn’t going to let herself be kept down and I loved that. It was exactly how I looked at setbacks in my life. Sure, there were going to be times when things didn’t go your way, but you had to keep moving forward and take control of your own life.
“Oh, well, why don’t you keep the pace? I’ll just follow your lead,” I said as I motioned for her to go ahead of me.
“Are you sure?” she questioned.
“Stop questioning everything and listen to your damn body. Go the pace that you want to. It’s going to help relieve your stress, trust me.”
“I do trust you,” Ana said as she flashed me a smile.
Those words penetrated into my gut as she took off running in front of me. For a girl like Ana to say she trusted me, that was huge. She didn’t have a reason to trust me. All I had done was carry her out of the hell she was in. I felt honored that in her world of untrusting craziness, she felt like I was worthy of her trust.
I saw a power come over Ana as we made our way down the trail. Over hills, around corners, she led as if she had run the same trail a hundred times before. At the start of our run, she had been hunched over and looking at the ground, but now she had her head up, was pumping her arms, and in excellent running form. I could tell she was a runner by the way she held her arms in close to her side when she got tired. People who didn’t run a lot tended to get sloppy when they got tired, but runners knew that if they could hold their form, they weren’t tired enough to quiet just yet.
“How far we going?” Ana yelled back to me.
“As far as you want.”
She gave me what I could only label as a suspicious grin, then turned forward and kept running. I’m pretty sure she even picked up the pace a little bit. I was good to go though. After years in the military, running long distances had become second nature to me. I was in great shape and long runs were boring alone; it was going to be nice to have Ana around for some good long running.
Running gave me the opportunity to think and clear my mind. It was like my therapy, and I loved to run through the woods behind my house. The trail we were running on was made by me as a guide so I wouldn’t have to worry about jumping over bushes and trees while out on my run. It was just one of many tasks I had taken on over the years to keep me busy when I was off from jobs.
I liked to stay busy. It was calming to me and helped me work through all my own, horrible memories that rattled through my brain when things were calm. It was a weird balance to want to live in the woods because there was nothing to do out there, but also I wanted to stay busy. My workout shed, my home, and wraparound porch had all been built by me. The art of working with my hands and staying busy was just the right solution for my mind to stay focused.
As I glanced at my distance tracker on my wrist, I realized we had already run almost five miles and had yet to turn around. This run had turned into a much longer one than I had planned. I would have packed some water and drinks if I had known we were going to be out for so long. I felt the fatigue setting in, but as I looked up at Ana, she appeared to be ready to run another five miles.
“We should probably turn around soon; we’re out five miles already.”
“Really?” Ana said as she slowed to a jog.
The surprise was evident on her face, and I couldn’t help but laugh. She had probably been spacing out and thinking, just as I had been doing. It was really good to see her so happy though and I’d gladly go on a run with her every day if it mean she would smile as if she was. Ana need more smiling in her life, that was for sure.
“Yep; want to take a break and then head back?”
“I’m good, no break needed. Do you need a break?”
Her sudden confidence in her physical abilities delighted me. I liked seeing her feeling so willing to take on the world. But a little part of me felt like I should be able to keep up with her without taking a break; yet all I wanted to do was take a break. Unfortunately, my masculinity won and I opted not to take a break.