“I don’t care about the damn picture. Stephano could have you tracked by the GPS in your phone.”
“Well, I haven’t missed work yet, so I doubt he’ll care where I’m at. If I don’t show up tomorrow, then he’ll care.”
It was ridiculous that Jackson thought destroying my phone was a good idea. At that point, Stephano didn’t even know I was gone and if he was trying to call me and I didn’t answer, it would send more of a red flag than anything else. But it was clear that there was no arguing with Jackson. He had decided that he was right about everything and no one else ever had an opinion that mattered.
“You dance again tomorrow?”
I was still on the ground near a side chair and Jackson was still naked standing over me. There was no way to avoid looking right at his cock as it swung in front of me. Jackson didn’t seem to care at all that he was naked. But I figured with a member the size of his and a body like he had, he really didn’t have anything to be ashamed of or hide.
“Yes, I dance tomorrow. Do you want to go get dressed so we can eat? Or are you just going to eat like that?”
Suddenly, Jackson realized he was standing in front of me naked and he turned to go get his clothes on. He didn’t bother to shut his door and before I had made it over to the table where the food was laid out, he had returned with his sweatpants and t-shirt on.
It was sickening how delicious he looked, even in sweatpants. His big muscular body filled out all of his t-shirt and his legs filled out the sweatpants. I hated that I was so attracted to him and I fought off the thoughts the best I could. There was no way I was going to fall for a guy like him. He was way too uptight for my taste.
For the last few years, I had vowed not to date anyone. I didn’t want to be with a guy who knew I was a stripper. I wanted to save my money and start my own hair salon, and then I would meet a nice normal guy. Someone who wouldn’t have to know about my past. There was just no way a guy could look at me and love me if he knew what I had been doing for the last few years.
Sure, guys said that they didn’t care. But the second a girl got up in the middle of the afternoon and did her hair and makeup for her stripping job, suddenly her boyfriend hated it. They girls who had boyfriends were constantly fighting with them and I had yet to see a guy who could truly handle the job.
I did not want to meet someone who was interested in the lifestyle I currently had. I hated my lifestyle. I didn’t want to be a stripper any more than most of the other girls. But the fact was that I got paid extremely well and had fought my way up to a high level of independence within Stephano’s organization. Giving that up to help find Ana was a huge deal for me and had me feeling very uneasy about my future.
It had taken Chase giving me a financial out to finally give up my lifestyle, but I still wasn’t free from it. Jackson knew that it was my lifestyle and Stephano really had no idea I had left the business at all. I could still show up to work as normal and, hopefully, get some more information on where Ana was. It was going to be hard to lie to Stephano’s face. I knew how good he was at catching liars.
I was scared to death about what the next day would bring. Stephano would have no problem killing me the second he knew I was looking for Ana. I had worked really hard to gain the independence I had from him, but I had seen many women before me who had made really poor decisions. If a woman mouthed off to him or even one of his men, there was no telling just how angry Stephano would get. His mood was dependent on what else was going on around him.
“Thanks for ordering the food,” Jackson said as we sat at my small table.
I poured us each a glass of wine and we ate in silence. It wasn’t an awkward silence, though. We both just didn’t want to talk to each other. Jackson was a manly man, the kind I really did like to go after. His quietness was odd, though. He seemed like he had plenty he wanted to say but was restricting his talk. I really didn’t mind that much. I was exhausted and some quiet time was exactly what I needed.
As I watched Jackson eat, I wondered what his lips would feel like on my body. He seemed very well experienced in the realm of women and I estimated he could make me cum in less than five minutes. I bet he had dozens of women on the side who he called when he was in a particular town. The women probably didn’t mind at all because simply being with a beautiful specimen of a man like him was enough for them.
I shook my head as I tried to get the thoughts of Jackson touching my body. I couldn’t let anything happen between us. I didn’t want anything to happen between us. We were working together. I needed to stay focused on the job in front of us and not think about Jackson…or his lips…or his hands on my body. Thinking about those things would only serve to distract me.
For as much time as I spent in the strip club, I didn’t bring any of the guys home. I didn’t bring guys home, at all. I didn’t want to sleep with some scumbag who liked to screw strippers. I knew I was a stripper, but deep down I felt like so much more than that. I felt like I should go to business school or some other type of college. I wanted a career that I could be proud of and stripping certainly wasn’t it.
In my spare time, I read books on business and starting a salon. I read up on accounting and payroll. I read any book I could get my hands on that had something to do with running my own place. Because that was the goal, at least that was what I could think of for the time being. I wasn’t dancing just to dance. I wanted to have a life someday. I wanted to have a real life.
“This is some good wine,” I said as I felt it rush through my veins. “I don’t think I’ve had a drink in over a year.?
??
“Really?” Jackson snickered under his breath.
“Yes, really. Just because I strip doesn’t mean I’m some whore who does tricks or is an alcoholic.”
Right as the words left my mouth, I regretted them. I was comfortable in confrontation and I went right there whenever I felt like someone was looking down on me. I should have waited though and I shouldn’t have acted like that with Jackson, it was unprofessional.
“That wasn’t why I laughed. I laughed because I have at least one drink pretty much every day. I couldn’t imagine going a whole year without drinking.”
“That seems like a problem to me,” I said with a smile as I tried to calm the tension between us.
“Don’t go getting all sarcastic with me. I’m trying to be nice,” Jackson said as he stopped eating and just looked at me. His sly smile melted my agitation and I decided to try and be nicer to him.
His eyes were dangerous. I felt it. Not just dangerous to other people – he was dangerous to me. I felt safe around him, and I felt myself putting my guard down. I certainly needed to be careful how far I let him into my life. The danger wasn’t from harm he might do to me, the danger I felt from Jackson was my wall coming down. The wall I kept up around me was the only thing that prevented all my emotions from spilling out like some silly girl. I didn’t have the luxury of emotions and I couldn’t let Jackson break through that barrier.
“Sorry,” I said in a lame attempt to apologize.
I was comfortable with sarcasm around guys. Anything that was necessary to keep them at a distance. I couldn’t even let in the nice guys I had met outside of work. There were two sides to me and neither of them made sense to the other side.