Chapter Thirty-Six
Abby
I love you. That was all I wanted to tell him. I didn't care whether he said it back or not. I just needed him to know. It didn't matter that he was leaving because it wouldn't change that. I wanted to cry when he said it back.
Nothing else mattered. Just me and him. He pulled me up off the bed, so he could get me out of my dress. He undid the zipper, and it fell to my feet. He lifted me into his arms again, letting me wrap my legs around him. I tangled my fingers in his hair, kissing him slowly while he lowered me gently onto the bed, climbing on top of me.
I ran my fingers through his hair, leaning back into the pillow as he kissed my neck and jaw. I gasped, feeling him suck one of my nipples on his way down my body. I watched him, needing to see him.
It would never feel like this with anyone ever again. If I never met another person after him, it wouldn't make a difference to me. I knew I would never feel more connected to another man the way I felt to him.
His stubble tickled my stomach as he kissed down my body, down between my legs. His big hands held my thighs apart as his tongue teased my clitoris. He sucked it between his lips, making me moan and writhe against him. I felt my wetness seep out of me. I felt brazen and exposed as he pleasured me. I knew he would lick every inch of my body if I wanted him to.
My eyes fluttered shut, feeling him push two fingers inside me as his tongue continued to assault my clit.
"Don't stop," I whispered. His free hand ran up my body, squeezing my breast. I covered it with mine, feeling him push me closer and closer to orgasm with his hand and mouth. I loved how his fingers felt, stretching me wider than I ever could with my own hand.
I panted, moving my hips to meet the thrusts of his hand. His tongue was slow and firm. He kept his rhythm steady even though I was squirming. My stomach started to clench, and I felt my climax start to build. His fingers grazed a place deep inside me that pushed me over the edge. I bucked my hips forward, coming. He didn't stop, licking and fucking me with his fingers till my body had completely stilled. He kissed my inner thigh and sat up on his knees. I took his hand and sucked the two fingers that had been inside me into my mouth, moaning. He watched me with lust-darkened eyes.
He held my thighs and pulled me towards him on the bed, running his hands over them. He looked at me like he was trying to burn it in his memory. I noticed his furrowed brow and pained expression. I pushed myself up into a sitting position, touching his face.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
"You're beautiful, Abby," he said.
He kissed me sweetly, gently pushing me back down to the mattress. He got off the bed and quickly walked over to my closet where I had some condoms, retrieving one. I watched him slip it on before he climbed back onto the bed and settled between my open legs. His penis was so hard it stood straight up, against his stomach. I was wet and ready for him; I knew he could see how much with my legs spread open the way they were.
He ran the head of his dick over my opening, pushing ever so slightly into me with his thick head before pulling back out. It killed me. The friction against my lips tied knots in my stomach. I wanted him to take me. I wanted to feel him stretch me and fuck me deeper than anybody ever had before.
"Please, Nate," I whispered desperately. Sweat had broken out over my brow, and my voice was quivering. He complied, slowly feeding his hard, thick penis into me. I held my breath as he filled me, feeling him take up space that was already his.
He leaned forward over me, thrusting in and out slowly as he kissed my cheek and neck softly. I ran my hand over his shoulders and biceps, hard under his skin from the effort of holding himself up.
He was usually a lot more urgent. We would usually fuck first and kiss and cuddle later. It was never really slow and intimate the way it was now. We were both after something different this time. I wanted my body to tell him what I meant when I said I loved him. I wanted him to know that I was laying it all out on the table. Even if he was leaving, he was taking part of me with him.
We kissed as he thrust into me, building a steady rhythm. I felt his deep, steady strokes in my entire body. I was soaked, turned on beyond belief by the man on top of me. I moaned as he made love to me. His hands touched my face, my breasts, my hips, leaving hot trails on my sensitive skin.
I felt his weight press into me as he angled his hips to thrust deeper, and I bit my lip to keep from crying out. I felt his powerful back flex under my hand as he slid sensuously in and out of my body. He was so hard and firm, but he handled me so gently. I loved feeling his weight bear down on me while we were so intimately joined. His presence possessed me, on top of me, inside of me, one with me.
"I love you," I whispered.
"Say it again," he choked.
"I love you, Nate," I said breathily.
I felt him speed up, shifting off of me to thrust harder. He went faster, stoking the flame inside of me into an inferno. His vigorous strokes rocked through me harder and harder until I felt myself fall. I came, crying out, feeling myself come to pieces in Nate's arms. He went harder still, groaning as he climaxed before he slowed to a languorous stroke, and finally became still. He held my face and kissed me hard.
"I love you, too," he said, looking into my eyes. Everything else became a drone in the background. That was all that mattered.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Nate
I needed to stop doing this. I bet Abby never sat in bed staring at me sleeping when she got up before I did. A little while ago, it had made me feel like a creep, but now it almost felt necessary.
I loved her. I couldn't believe I had her in my life. I couldn't believe that the day was coming when I wouldn't anymore.
I still had to figure out what to do. The call hadn't been made yet, so technically, it wasn't official that anything was changing. God, I already hated myself for leaving her, and I hadn't done it yet. I didn't fucking want to. It was as simple as that. I was healthy, happy, and in love. What the fuck did I still need?